A favorite author of mine (not in a 12-step program) says that love is “a flow of energy willingly allowed and exchanged, without requiring payment in return.” The 12-step recovery process has been an integral part of my experience with this flow of love. As I walk the road of restoration, the channels are open for me to receive the love that my higher power has for me.
But: the story needs to continue. The invitation and the goal is that I would redirect that love to others. The twelfth step states, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to sexaholics and practice these principles in all our affairs.” I think it’s fair to interpret this step as an act of love.
I will only speak for myself; but now that I’ve been on this journey, I can be less of a taker and finally be the sort of giver I’d always hoped to be in my life. This reality is not through my own sufficiency. Quite the contrary. I need my comrades in my weekly group. I need the phone calls. I need my sponsors’ wisdom and friendship. I need my higher power. And not just because all these things are helpful and good for sobriety, but precisely because they are the channels that allow for the flow of love. And, miraculously, I too am a channel for others now.
As I meditate on this reality and the current COVID-19 pandemic all around us (or whatever challenge we are facing), I’m convinced that we who have been on this journey are equipped with tools for the struggle. SA members are the exact sort of people who are capable of channeling love in this COVID-19 time.
We know that all of our addictions are really just about connection. So in a time of distance, we continue our meetings virtually. In the time of loneliness, we reach out to others. In a time of confusion and fear, we remember the serenity prayer. In a time when days feel like they may blend together into one long confusing season, we remember, “one day at a time.”
Believe me: I too am facing challenges everyday. But I’m being invited to look beyond myself towards others. May I be sober not just for sobriety’s sake, but so I can be capable of giving love today. May I stick to my spiritual routines not for myself but to be the sort of channel that my higher power uses to bless others today. May I keep connection with my brothers in the program so that I can be strong for my connections to others today. For today is all I have. I am capable of being a channel of love. And so are you.
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