Service is a critical part of recovery, but it is one of the most poorly understood Program concepts, in my opinion. I’ve been in the Program for 19 years, and for 17 of those years, my idea of service was flawed. I believed service was about helping addicts only. I did not see it extend outside of these boundaries.
Service is a critical part of any recovery program and is one of the most poorly understood parts of Sexaholics Anonymous. For seventeen years my idea of service was flawed and hindered my ability to stay sober. I thought that service was about being of service only to addicts. I am writing in order to help those who may have a similar understanding of service.
In May 2012, I found SA and became very curious about how the program worked. I got a sponsor right away, and she told me that one way to get myself out of my head—to stop thinking of myself—was to become involved and be of service.
Some of us come into these rooms crawling on our hands and knees because we know we have no option other than to stop our destructive way of life. Others, like myself, are pushed into these rooms and—if we are fortunate—we too discover that we had no other options, that our lives are unmanageable, and that we are insane.
When I was eight years old, my mother would ask me (her only child), “Will you help me by drying the dishes and stacking them on the counter?” I enjoyed the activity and felt I was part of the team.
In November 1971, I had a spiritual experience that changed my life direction. But for some reason God did not take away my bad habits when I asked Him to. My spiritual awakening that happened “as a result of these Steps” changed my life direction again—this time pointing me toward promoting life in myself and others.
In my early sobriety, SA service provided many opportunities for spiritual growth. My sponsor continually explained the need for a solid grounding in the Steps as the basis for successful service work. As I matured, so did my idea of “successful service.”
Members sometimes ask me, “Why should I do service? Won’t someone else do it? I don’t have the time!” But my sponsor always says: “SA was here when I needed it, and it is my responsibility to see that it is here for somebody else!”
