For over thirty years, I was convinced I knew how to put first things first. I had my personal priorities, which usually involved me getting attention or getting ahead in some way. I knew that pleasing other people increased the odds that I would get what I wanted.
As I experience recovery, I’m finding that all the work I wanted countless others to do, I have to do myself. “The program is simple … keep the focus on myself … it works if I work it.” How many times have I heard those things! And it’s true! Over and over [I see that] simple works, and when I don’t keep it simple, I isolate and stay in my head and go nuts with resentments and anger, blocking what God is trying to tell me.
This is the first meeting of SA in a long time that I’ve been to that no one but myself has attended. It’s OK with me because I need to sit quietly and try to set a course for the day. I’ve been sober two years and two months now. I’ve been forced to attempt the Fourth Step again because I do not know how to live.
