The last weekend of August was one of the most unforgettable events in my life, when 48 SA and 9 S-Anon members gathered in Stirling for the Scottish SA Convention. Fellows from the UK, Italy, Spain, Germany, Ireland and Netherlands joined us in doing together what we cannot do alone.

When thinking about the convention, covid-19 restrictions worried us a lot but didn’t stop us from organizing it. The news which came later gave hope to us all and the number of bookings increased rapidly, despite the risk of canceling the event still hanging over us.

During these intensive days we had an opportunity to attend face-to-face and online meetings (that attracted about another 100 participants), a 12-Step workshop which was run alongside, and listen to well-known international speakers who shared their experience, strength, and hope.

Going to the meetings, chairing them and reading meant leaving my comfort zone which wasn’t easy. When talking with others I understood that this was a challenging time for most of us.

The majority of the SA participants were male. They were talking openly about their achievements and their struggles. Invited to their world, I could see them not only as machos but also as powerless, vulnerable human beings.

Strangers at the beginning, we became brothers and sisters for each other; we became a family. New friendships enriched us and gave us hope, courage and strength. Each of us came to the convention with a different life story but here, while remaining unique, we were equal.

For most of us this convention was like an injection of sobriety and serenity, important especially for those who still suffer. It was a lesson of healthy self-love and encouragement to forgive myself, without which I’m useless to God and my fellows.

The event was incredibly important to me. Firstly, being the only SA woman there was scary, but, as it turned out, unnecessarily. I felt like if I was in a bubble—safe and well protected by my Higher Power; I felt peace.

Laughing with each other during the entertainment evening had the power to heal many wounds.

The participation of S-Anon members has helped me to see their point of view and to understand the experience of living with an addict, which was a very touching and humbling moment.

Being a booking secretary for this convention was really rewarding. Challenging moments were forgotten easily when I saw the joy and happiness in people’s eyes. I do believe that my sobriety and recovery supports others, especially since I’ve realized that my problems will never disappear—I have to accept and learn to live with them. Someone said that “The good thing in recovery is that we have our feelings and emotions back, and the bad thing in recovery is … that we have our feelings and emotions back.”

“You really feel you belong in SA, don’t you?” a friend asked me after the convention. “Yes, I do.” SA is a safe haven to me today.

It made me upset when the convention ended but I realized soon that it was the beginning. With this new experience, which made me stronger, I am able to carry the message and to share with others what I have received. It makes me smile when I think of the fact that I’m not a bad person but sick, that recovery is possible if I really want it, and that I’m not alone, because sexaholics are all over the world today.

I hope to see you all next year!