I joined the committee to plan our semi-annual retreat because I have a lot of experience planning these events. But this time I stepped aside to let others organize it. The theme was chosen over my objections, as I preferred the first idea they came up with. I let that go. They chose to not pick breakout topics, but allow the leaders to choose their topics when they signed up. I didn’t think this was a good idea. But, I let that go.

At the retreat, I volunteered at the registration desk. I noticed that the lanyards did not turn all the way around. But I let that go and moved to lead a session — on “Humility.” That room housed two breakouts simultaneously in opposite corners. This didn’t work well so I let the other chair in the room lead us all in his topic. When we approached our candlelight service the second night the committee had nothing to light the candles. Someone volunteered to go get matches and I volunteered to help — I didn’t want to buy the “wrong kind.”

At that point I knew I was out of control. My judging, critical, know-it-all spirit was in full swing. My ego was on a rampage, fueled by rationalization of my longevity in the program and I knew what was best. I stayed back and walked in the woods to talk with God. I prayed that He would save me from my arrogance. I saw how it intimidates and demeans other people, the opposite of love or service. Service projects don’t have to be perfect or “right” or “the way it was done in the past.” No one wants to do service with someone who steps all over their ideas and tells them they are wrong.

God, help me move from being a know-it-all jerk to an elder statesman. Save me and the people around me from my pride and ego. If I have been around a long time, it is only because I have needed your grace for a long time. It does not mean I know what is best. Only You do.