My experience prior to SA recovery had been that struggle was necessary. The only defense against lust was to exert as much energy as I could muster to fight and struggle against it. Lust proved to always be more powerful than me, and thus I always lost the fight. I am powerless over lust (Step One), plain and simple.

Surrender was accompanied with a whimper. No effort. No fight. I just had to accept that I will always be a sexaholic and I will never be able to handle lust, the temptations from within, and the triggers from without. The deadly combination of the world around me and my addictive mind inside me colluded to bring me down every time. I could not win the battle.

On my knees is where I have to stay, surrendered to my Maker. My will and life are His for whatever He chooses to do with them. I give my temptations and triggers to Him in an act of surrender every time there is even a hint of lust, a whiff of the old familiar scent, the slightest thought of a lust-filled memory, the tiniest beginning of a fantasy the remotest possibility of that person or image in the corner of my eye taking hold of me. Surrender is all I have to offer.

At times when all of these converge in a massive force that is palpable, the solution remains the same: acceptance that I am a sexaholic and that I am and always will be powerless over lust, and then surrender in attitude and action to a loving God who is always willing to receive from me anything I freely give to Him, including my lust and character defects.

Struggling is now an option that I no longer choose. Surrendering time and again has created a new default setting. I learned all of this by going to meetings, getting a sponsor, and working the Steps as directed. Surrender is the SA solution for anyone willing to submit to it.