Dear Essay,

Thank you so much for the new edition of Essay. I really love the SA publication!

We have recently tried to change an old habit in SA, to make a distinction between the North American fellowship, and the “In­ternational.”

I think SA is not a North Amer­ican fellowship with international participation anymore. Soon there will be more groups outside the US than within.

The listing of the new groups around the world can be changed accordingly, for example by cate­gorizing them by continent, or not categorizing them at all.

I have seen this has been changed already for the listing of the delegates and their Regions.

But there still I see first the North American Regions, fol­lowed by those outside North America. Maybe the Regions can be listed in alphabetical order? Thanks once again for your great service!

In Fellowship,

 

Dear Essay,

Perhaps this letter can begin a series of discussions about SA and minors. This began when I received the following note from an SA List manager: 

“I’d like to bring up the issue of minors on the internet SA Buddy List. A couple of weeks ago one SA member went through the verification process successfully. We learned last week by pure accident that he is only 17 years old. In Poland anyone under 18 years old is considered a minor. How to deal with it? Is it necessary to add a question about age to our Buddy List verification form? If that would be the case minors have to be deleted from the list (?)” 

This was my response: I feel so strongly about the need for help for young sexaholics. We have this situation (not “problem”) on the buddy list, in phone meetings, and in face-to-face meetings. The Trustees placed a disclaimer on the SA website that minors are not welcome in meetings. I understand the consequences of this, but how do we help them? There have to be ways to help them. Would the Essay allow a discussion of this situation? 

Maybe the discussion should not be so much about what we can’t do and how can we exclude these youth. We can ask rather how can we develop protocols that will provide for their needs?

I know two young men in Israel who got sober at 18. One has 3 years and one 5 years of sobriety and great recovery. 

We have hurting parents and youth, as well as frustrated therapists, who desperately need our Experience, Strength and Hope. When are we going to step up to the plate? When are we going to explore avenues that work for other groups that have worked to get the message and recovery to youth? There have been quasi-meetings in therapists offices with members of SA and with the parents’ permission. There have been small meetings in public places like parks where parents were in the distance able to watch. What else do we have in our toolbox? Responding to minors helpfully I believe is the “next right thing.”

I AM RESPONSIBLE. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of SA always to be there. And for that: I am responsible.