Today, January 14, 2012, I am five years sober. It seems impossible! Before, I had a 35-year addiction, in which I was always looking for something new, exciting, and different—getting bored with what I had and always searching for something better. I went through two marriages and two divorces and ruined every relationship I ever had.

Then in July of 2006, I came to SA. I stayed sober for two months but did not get a sponsor or work the Steps, and on September 26, I acted out again. I felt intense pain, despair, and loneliness. I wanted to kill myself. I had a gun in the house but before using it, I cried out to God and said, “Please help me!” Somehow I didn’t get the gun, and when I went to bed that night, I forgot that it was right next to me in the night stand drawer.

I worked the Steps after that but still didn’t listen to my sponsor. I slipped twice more, once in November 2006 and again in January. I had trouble staying sober until I finally started following my sponsor’s advice to be of service to others.

On October 31, 2006, I started a meeting where I live. Before that, I had to drive two hours each way to Atlanta and back, because my sponsor asked me if I was willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. But then I took the action of starting a meeting for members in my local area. At first, only one or two members attended this meeting, but this morning there were eight of us! One of my sponsees gave me my five-year chip.

A couple of years ago, I walked my daughter down the aisle at her wedding. This is the same daughter who wouldn’t speak to me for years because I had emotionally abused her. I went to a funeral visitation for a coworker’s dad, the same coworker who I used to resent.

I could go on and on about how things are better in my life today, but what I notice most is inner peace. As the result of working the Steps, surrendering to my Higher Power, and following directions, I have inner peace today. Even recently, when I was in the hospital recovering from a heart attack, I had inner peace. I was worried at times, but then I would pray and repeat a word from my faith tradition (part of my Step Eleven practice), and my fear was relieved. This program works if I work it!

Have a great day in recovery today!