In college, I took a weightlifting class. I spent a great deal of time reading the textbook and understanding the techniques, but for some reason, I never got much bigger. Duh! You can’t gain muscle mass by reading a book on weightlifting.

When I entered SA, history repeated itself. I kept reading the Twelve Steps and affirming that I agreed with them.
Admit I’m powerless; okay, I admit it.
Believe there is One Who can help; okay, I believe.
Decide to turn my life over to the care of my Higher Power; okay, I decided.
“What a relief! I just worked the first three Steps.”

Oddly enough, no matter how many times I read the Twelve Steps, it didn’t keep me sober. Duh! You can’t build spiritual strength simply by reading the instructions. Boy, did I feel stupid. I kept imagining reading a recipe for making a cake over and over and then wondering why I wasn’t eating cake.

“Can anyone explain what we mean when we keep saying ‘work the Steps’?”, I asked at my next meeting. Someone said, “Well, the first thing you’ll need is a sponsor.” Now I felt dumber than before. Ten months into the program and I had not chosen a sponsor. Everyone was either too nice, too strict, too young in sobriety, too this, or too that. Bottom line, I was enjoying my freedom from accountability and didn’t want anyone telling what to do. But why couldn’t I stay sober? You can’t stay sober by reading about sobriety without going to any length to achieve that sobriety.

“Okay. Let’s say I get a sponsor. Then what?” I asked further. “Then you start working the Steps,” someone explained. There were those mysterious three words again: “working the Steps.” Fortunately for me, I’m persistent. “What does it mean to work the Steps?” I repeated, emphasizing the word “work” and hoping someone would understand what I was asking. Most of the people in the room stared at me in confusion. I’m sure they were wondering why I was so dumb. Then one guy pointed to a notebook, and speaking slowly, as you do to a child, he said, “I just use my sponsor’s guidance and my workbook.” A bright light clicked on in my head: Why not use a workbook to do “work”?

“For example,” he continued in his explanation, “after understanding the conceptual basis of Step One, I had to work through an inventory of the ways that I am powerless in order to understand the full extent of my powerlessness.” The light got brighter! What an amazing concept! Suddenly I began to understand why it had been so hard to stay sober.

I decided to get ready to head to the sobriety gym. The first thing I did was get a trainer, and I picked the toughest one I could find. If I wanted to be a world champion boxer, I would need someone who would make me run 20 miles every day.

The first thing my sponsor did was make me sign a sponsorship contract. That was tough. I was so used to floundering around reading through the Twelve Steps and attending a meeting every couple of months. Suddenly, I’m signing an agreement to work out daily. Duh! Sobriety is not an option for me; it’s a life-long commitment.

Now I realize that I can’t build a close relationship with my Higher Power by reading through the Steps, and I can’t achieve it alone. I need a sponsor, and I have to listen to his guidance so I can “work the Steps.” I feel stronger already.