Okay, I understood that part about no sex with anyone other than the spouse. Heck, that’s what got me to Sexaholics Anonymous in the first place. But no sex with myself? Who were these guys kidding? Didn’t they understand that if I refrained from sex with self, something terrible would happen? I might even die, or explode, or something equally dire.

Okay, I decided. If that’s what they said it was going to take, then I figured it was worth a shot. And guess what? Two and a half years of continuous sexual sobriety in SA, and I haven’t died once.

What does it take? Aren’t there still tons of internet sites out there? Aren’t there still hundreds and thousands and millions of attractive distractions? How can I avoid the triggers that might lead to my acting out again?

The reality is, I cannot avoid every trigger out there. I can refrain from surfing the internet for porn by picking up the phone when I am tempted. I call another member of the fellowship and tell them what’s on my mind. The times that I have done that, it has worked and the urges passed. When I am going to the grocery store or a sporting event or a musical performance, and I know I will be among attractive distractions, I call someone from the fellowship and check in on my way there. If I am uncomfortable in any given situation, I can always leave. My recovery is a lot more important to me than anything else.

One other option I have, a gift from Sexaholics Anonymous, is prayer. When I am tempted to take a second look at someone I find attractive, I can always pray “God bless them, and God help me.” In two and a half years, I’ve prayed that an awful lot.

This is the way I look at it: If my acting out led me to Sexaholics Anonymous, why then do I think that it’s going to be any better if I do it again? Did my disease of addiction magically go away? Did the very thing that caused me so much personal torment, grief and pain suddenly become my friend? I have to remember the complete and utter devastation that my life had become, that led me to SA in the first place, so that I don’t go back there again. Just For Today.