Different forces propelled us to the first-ever SA India Workshop Weekend in Ashirvad, Bangalore. These forces included life-threatening spiritual bankruptcy, absolute failure of moderation and self-control, and a serendipitous string of events amidst desperate seeking.

We were 34 in number, of diverse ages, sexes, vocations, tongues, and places. Most diverse of all were our stages of surrender and recovery including wavering willingness, chronic relapse, fear-tinged resistance to surrender, and painful struggle with SA’s sobriety definition. Diverse as we were, our desire to stop falling prey to lust united us.

We came as strangers  to this workshop, some having had fleeting online interactions. With deep-seated fears   of judgment, broken anonymity, and the demoralizing disease of lust, we held guarded hopes of be(com)ing free. But we left as a family — with loving smiles, renewed hope, and lighter hearts. 

The 3-day workshop proved incredibly sobering  (pun obviously intended). As I struggled with a string of 15-day streaks, the workshop leader’s 15-year sobriety seemed like 15 lifetimes. Naturally, I expected a miracle saint, but to my surprise and delight, he was human — sexaholic and flawed, just like the rest of us. Neither accent nor cultural differences proved a barrier. He helped us feel so at home that we forgot he was a foreigner visiting India again after 30 years. Further testament is how comfortable two women felt among all us crazy male sexaholics.

Kicking things off with an ultra-honest share on Day 1, the leader led with vulnerability. Gently, we were led into Step Zero surrender , and then rigorous, shame-free honesty. Then followed two days of serious Step work—that felt like play thanks to group bonding activities, creative poster-making, and humor. The amazing string exercises developed by the late Dave T. were passed on and proved to be a unique way to visualize the Steps in a creative way. The shares, Step work, prayers, string play, and group exercises were carefully designed and tweaked.

What better testament to the effectiveness of this experience than some deeply cathartic Steps Four and Five? The hours flew by   in silent solo-reflection as we penned our Step Four inventories. We did this among Ashirvad’s beautiful gardens, silent alcoves, and pristine chapel. We shared our inventories one-on-one in deep vulnerability,  and we received the same with a deeper mute witness. 

The last day was all beaming smiles and heartfelt hugs. All of the participants got a beautiful wooden key hanger as a reminder of the weekend as well as a free ESSAY copy. I think everyone wanted to stay, serve, and grow in sobriety — together. But within weeks, the results were apparent:

• A Chennai Public Information (PI) session followed the Bangalore PI. 
• Six new in-person meetings sprang up like hot geysers across India. 
• Record-high 7th tradition contributions flooded in. 
• Program calls of surrender among fellows felt more welcome and familiar. 
• Daily Tenth-Step reminders began popping up. 
• ESH turned deeper, humbler, and more thoughtful. 
• New proposals, initiatives, and ideas rained in. 
• Thanks to a new print-on-demand proposal, the SA literature might soon be locally available — all in Higher Power’s time.

It’s safe to say, the workshop reinforced the “we” in sobriety and recovery. Many also seemed to feel the relief of deeper faith in SA, the 12 Steps, the Fellowship, and Higher Power. 

Yes, this disease is chronic and debilitating, but recovery’s gifts drastically outweigh the apparent “costs.” The hope that we’d someday be able to moderate and enjoy lust died for many of us. But the hope that a deeply fulfilling lust-free life is possible (and within reach) only grew stronger. 

All we must do is stay humble, work the Steps with rigorous honesty, attend meetings, be in the  Fellowship, give freely of what’s given to us, and keep our houses in order.