Taken from SAUK news, an SA newsletter published in the UK, issue eight, Jan. 1998

At 5:45 this morning I woke to the sound of music from the house opposite floating through our open windows. I was in one of those headspaces, which have plagued me on waking up, since I got into recovery. I tried to go back to sleep; I didn’t really want to get up and take the actions.

Then I remembered: “A fear to gratitude list.”

With the fear list, my state of mind cleared. The negative messages hanging in my head were:

• I have failed my parents;
• I’m all alone in my mid-forties — this proves I have messed up my life. This proves me wrong and my mother right about me;
• No one cares or knows about me.

Then the prayer:

God, these fears are based on self-reliance, and self-reliance has failed me. I now put my trust in infinite God rather than finite self. I ask you, God, to remove these fears and direct my attention to what you would have me do. As I humbly rely on you, I ask you to enable me to match calamity with serenity.

Then the gratitude list:

• There are people in my family who care about me;
• There are people in recovery who care about me;
• It is important that I care about them, too. They also need this.

That was enough. My state of mind lifted and I felt in touch with God again.