Phone Service Guidelines

[The following suggested guidelines are used by SA members returning calls to inquirers in a large U.S. metropolitan area. These guidelines reflect over six years’ experience in dealing with SA calls in this area. Your comments and/or experience is invited. Does your intergroup support a hot-line? How do you deal with inquirers? Reprinting these guidelines here does not constitute endorsement by the Essay or the Central Office.]

• Being centered in a peaceful state of mind before returning a call may be helpful.
• A scared caller (for example, someone recently arrested) will find encouragement in feeling that the person at the other end of the phone line is reaching out to them.
• Be willing to:
  • Listen with an open ear and a loving heart.
  • Send a message of hope and support.
  • Let the caller know that their call is one of a series of steps to reach out from loneliness and isolation.
  • Reassure the caller that they are not alone.
• Ascertain that the person has called on behalf of herself or himself.
• Ask if their sexual actions made their lives unmanageable … and if they have a desire to stop.
• Ask if they have ever heard of AA and 12-Step programs … some explanation may be helpful.
• Explain SA’s definition of sobriety — in a gentle fashion, but clearly — so that those in denial do not mislead nor delude themselves.
  • Those who find the sobriety definition unacceptable do not qualify for SA. It is not appropriate to encourage such persons to attend our meetings. An alternative may be to provide referrals to other 12-Step fellowships that deal with sex addiction. Make clear that we cannot speak for these groups — the caller will have to do their own checking.
  • For those who are uncertain about their desire to accept SA’s definition of sobriety, it may be appropriate to invite them to attend our meetings and determine for themselves if SA offers something they want.
• To qualify for phone service, SA members must have a minimum of six months of sexual sobriety.