First Things First

I have a wonderful wife and three kids. I love stories. I love surfing. I am a long-time volunteer who contributes to the community. I absolutely love life and live it to the fullest. But it wasn’t always this way. For over fifteen years I was in the grip of lust and porn addiction, never knowing real happiness as I spent my time taking from life rather than giving.

I would get hold of pornography anyway I could. I could never be alone on the internet without searching for porn. It got to the stage where it began to affect my mental health and my relationships with those closest to me. I was always trying to put on a happy face, but I was really coming apart, ruled by this addiction. I needed help. I had no peace mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

My wife and a close friend encouraged me to check out SA. By this stage I was desperate and it didn’t take long to convince me to give it a go. I went along to my first meeting not knowing what to expect. What I found was the beginning of a new life. The people in that room were real and honest and taking responsibility for their recovery. There was nothing fake about them. The thing that impressed me the most was how honest they were and how hard they were working to be free of this addiction. I was encouraged and wanted the freedom from addiction they had.

I started to learn from the people in the group, these men who were honest and real. They told me that the most important thing to do was to admit that I was powerless over lust and that my life had become unmanageable. There was no judgement or shaming amongst these people. They shared their powerlessness and unmanageability and showed me just how much we all have in common. They explained the Steps to me and showed me what taking responsibility looked like.

I began to work the Steps, taking heart at the freedom on offer and became sober. Life is not perfect, it is not rosy, but I came to experience reality, to live life on life’s terms, and it is very freeing. I have a good sense of perspective today; the Slogan that inspires me most is First Things First as it inspires me to have healthy priorities: this program of recovery; people to be accountable to; placing practical filters on my computer and devices; taking exercise. I am enjoying a second chance at life and really enjoying it. I am under new management today.