This test always gives him the correct indication of being in God’s will or in self.

There is an idea that changed my life. It is foundational to Step Three. It’s the reason this program works.

“I am a conduit suffering under the delusion that I am a container.” Self-delusion says that if I focus on filling myself up and getting what I want — comfort, control, attention, relief, pleasure, security — I will finally be happy. Wrong.

Turns out selfishness depletes me. The more I try to fill myself up, the emptier I feel. What actually nourishes me is when I stop trying to take and start trying to give. I’m a conduit. I can’t be filled. I get nourished when I let God flow through me toward other people through love, service, honesty, kindness, and usefulness.

In short, love nourishes; selfishness depletes. That’s the whole thing. This blew my mind because it means I should be able to scientifically experiment and discover whether I’m being loving or selfish simply by checking how I feel after I take the action.

Just look at the internal results. Do I feel nourished or depleted? At peace or irritated?

Yum or yuck? If the result was yum, it was love. If the result was yuck, it was self. I tried it, and so far it’s been true 100% of the time.

This was an amazing discovery. It turns out God had been communicating with me my whole life; I just never knew the language. The yuck and the yum after  I take my best guess at the next right action.

Today, when I need to make a decision and don’t know what to do:

• I ask God to remove self-seeking.
• I ask for guidance and direction.
• Then, I smile,
• Relax,
• And start taking action as best as I can.

Afterward, the Director tells me whether I was moving toward Him or away from Him.

How does He tell me?

If I acted from love, honesty, surrender, and usefulness, I feel nourished afterward: peaceful, connected, energized. YUM. If I acted from selfishness, fear, ego, resentment, or control, I feel depleted: irritable, restless, dark. YUCK.  In this way, life becomes simple: Lean into the yum. Lean out of the yuck. That’s it.

As the Big Book describes in Step Eleven, as I listen to God’s feedback and act as best I can, over time it becomes intuitive. My body just seems to know where the yum is in advance. I just seem to know what to do instinctively. The results of my actions become more harmonious and nourishing. It’s so cool.

And when it isn’t? I pray, I speak to a sponsor, and I try to listen to the Director’s feedback.

Where was I being selfish? Why was it yuck?

Then I make my best guess, lean in or out accordingly, and keep moving forward. I hope this helps.