Au début, je pensais que le terme “sobriété” ne correspondait pas à l’idée que je me faisais d’un sexolique, car je n’avais aucune expérience de l’alcoolisme.

Je n’ai pas arrêté, j’ai capitulé. J’ai commencé mon cheminement dans ce programme lorsqu’une amie Al-Anon m’a dit que j’étais une sexolique. Pour lui prouver qu’elle avait tort, j’ai accepté d’assister à six réunions SA. Au cours de ces six réunions, j’ai lentement admis que j’étais une sexolique. Au début, je ne regardais pas les autres membres dans les yeux et je ne partageais pas. Il y avait six autres femmes SA à ma première réunion du groupe d’appartenance.

Ma vie en rétablissement est pleine de miracles aujourd’hui – le plus grand d’entre eux est que je me remets de cette maladie, de cet esclavage à la luxure, pour lequel il n’y a pas de remède. Un autre grand miracle est que je suis reconnaissante aujourd’hui, alors que je ne l’étais jamais auparavant.

Je suis arrivé aux SA en 2008. Jusqu’alors, ma vie n’avait été qu’une succession de masturbation compulsive, de pornographie, de voyeurisme, d’exhibitionnisme et d’innombrables contacts furtifs ou d’aventures d’un soir avec d’autres hommes. La seule expérience de connexion était une relation abusive de plus de 20 ans avec un homme alcoolique.

Bonjour à tous, je m’appelle Pat et je suis un sexolique. Aujourd’hui, je suis très reconnaissant d’être en train de me remettre de la luxure. Le chemin a été long. Je suis entré dans le programme dans une ville du milieu de l’île du Nord de la Nouvelle-Zélande en novembre 2016 après avoir pris de plus en plus conscience que je perdais la maîtrise et que la luxure prenait le contrôle de ma vie.

Le 21 mars 2011, 48 heures seulement avant mon entrée dans cette fraternité, j’étais sobre depuis deux semaines. Ce jour-là, j’avais la certitude absolue que je ne céderais plus jamais à ma dépendance. Le seul problème, c’est que j’avais eu cette confiance suprême des milliers de fois auparavant, pendant près d’un demi-siècle.

Clarity … clarity is something that I need and wish to have and never lose.
Clarity is something that I get when I pause, listen and think.
Clarity is a God-given present when I take care of myself and others.
Clarity is what I get when I don’t let life challenges take over my brain.
Clarity is what happens when I try to become a channel of Thy peace.
Clarity is when my brain is clear and I can think in a healthy fashion.

I was sitting in the sun, trying to recuperate from an upper respiratory infection. The sun was shining so brightly as I was comfortably sitting in a lounge chair by the pool at the retirement center where we live. All of a sudden it turned dark. I looked up at the sky.

My story regarding accepting the SA sobriety definition begins when I was first dabbling in
accountability and monitoring from others—but not yet in SA. My main goal was to stop masturbating, but I wasn’t yet ready to give up sex outside of marriage and certainly didn’t have a desire to stop lusting.

Four years before I came to SA, I sought help with a professional therapist. I was out of control and knew it, acting out in ways that put me in immediate danger of death. There was a titillating news story of a man who accidentally hung himself in a sexual escapade.

When I was still in the addiction and looking for a way to stop, I came across SA. I had approached SA before, a year earlier, but had done so only half-willingly, and at that time I never made it to a meeting. Needless to say, things got worse.

“Slowly but surely, some wisdom and humility began to creep in. I became more teachable.
I found God working all around me where previously I was sure I had been alone. When I opened my eyes enough to see the miracle, it was right in front of my face. I was growing in God’s love” (AA 430).

Aussies and Kiwis are very committed to recovery. Over a decade ago, in a place called Mount Tambourine in Queensland, an English fellow ran a 12-Step workshop where a dream was born. The English man, an Irish man, and a bunch of Aussies and Kiwis got together with the vision of forming a region.

Can you help? SA’s Board of Trustees is served by a number of committees who assist it in administering the policies and decisions of the General Delegate Assembly. One of these is the Legal Committee whose mission is “to advise the Trustees on legal matters affecting the Fellowship.” (SA Service Manual, Ch. 13, p.2)

What a wonderful fellowship we have! Whenever someone reaches out, SA is there. Through a dedication to service by members like you, we have an effective international organization to keep us available to the next newcomer—and to all of you.

In this month’s issue, members share the miracles of their recovery, enjoying freedom from the toxic power of lust by the humble working of this program. A Ukrainian lady shares how sobriety helped her to overcome crippling defects of character.

One of my most important recovery guidelines is from Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 132: “We absolutely insist on enjoying life.” Roy’s version of this is his notion that if we don’t find in recovery what we were looking for in lust, recovery wouldn’t work (SA, p. 164). Joy that comes from self-acceptance and group-acceptance is one thing my lust was looking for.

Are you experiencing freedom from the slavery of “having to have sex”? Have you found progressive victory over lust and an ongoing spiritual recovery? Have you become rigorously honest?

My name is Raphael. I’m a grateful, recovering sexaholic. I’ve been sober by the grace of G-d and the help of all of you in this program of SA since April 7th, 2019.

In the June issue, read about the tools and tricks fellows from around the world practice while traveling during the holidays.