Upon reading the White Book and the literature of another S-fellowship in a psychosomatic hospital in 2020, I realized I am a sex addict and gained abstinence from any form of sex up until today.

The author of this gut-honest article describes his long and hard journey from initial sobriety to the painful awareness of the deeper layers of the disease, and the work on his psychological and spiritual healing.

An incident today was another lesson in emotional sobriety.
I live in a “golf cart community.” Lots of golf courses, but we also use golf carts to go to the store, to dinner, to recreation, to meetings. Many streets have a dedicated golf cart lane beside the normal traffic lane.

In an AA article, I once read about a fellow who is in the military. He wrote that he is taught to always wear a helmet, that it’s a habit ingrained in him. Going outside means putting on a helmet, period. In the beginning, it was something he had to learn, something people had to keep reminding him to do, and something that had to become a real habit. But eventually, he did it without thinking.

My name is Mervat, and I am a recovering sexaholic, or to be more precise, a lustaholic, from Egypt. I walked through the valley of the shadow of Death—or Lust—since I was a four-year-old. My full-throttle sexual acting-out started when I was 18 years old. I lived in that Lust Valley for more than 3 decades, not knowing the wages I had to pay: my life. It was a miracle that I found SA because all I wanted was to live.

It all started with a pinching pain I felt when doing my Fourth Step work over the past three months. I thought that I would be fine in time. For me, Step One had been the most difficult: seeing my disease from a very close distance and accepting my powerlessness over it and the unmanageability caused due to lust in my whole life.

In my high school there were a lot of international exchange students. I remember people from all around the world coming to Italy with summer clothes even if it was autumn or winter! The same happens when we Northern Italians go to the central or the southern part of the country. Why am I telling you this? In Italy we had a recovery weekend in Rome at the beginning of November. It rained during our incredible walk through the Roman Hills! We thought we could find hot weather, but the only thing that was hot was the radiator.

David M., my grandpa sponsor, just passed away after struggling with cancer for some years. You would never guess he had cancer because he never complained. For me, he was the embodiment of Tradition Two, “Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.”

I am Colombian but currently living in Germany. I registered for the Ukrainian convention the very first day I saw the flyer. I remember that day as I felt sad about not being able to attend the convention in my home country, Colombia, which coincidentally was scheduled for the same weekend. So, without hesitation, I filled out the form and attended my first SA convention!

Many fellows from all over the world were deeply saddened by the news that oldtimer Dave T. had passed away. He had recently been diagnosed with lung cancer but it didn’t seem anything was imminent at the time.

Who are we? We are the Public Information Committee who serve under the Board of Trustees. I call us the band of creatives. We reach out to the general public, telling the world SA is here to help those who identify with us. Today, addicts are immersed in the digital world. Many of them will never stumble upon vital information about sexaholism and SA. That is where we come in and why we need your help.

We saw that our problem was threefold: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Healing had to come about in all three (SA 204).
There are many ways to work on our threefold recovery. In this special edition, members share what has worked for them.

NEXT EDITION
The February issue changed its theme due to the passing away of oldtimers David M. and Dave T. and will remember the oldtimers who showed us by their example that not only a sober life but also a sober death is possible by working the Twelve Step program.

My name is Raphael. I am a grateful, recovering sexaholic. I’ve been sober by the grace of God and with the help of all of you in this SA fellowship since April 7, 2019.

התאווה למין היא רק פן אחד מתוך הפנים הרבות שישנם בקוביית התאווה רב המימדית. המילה ‘תאווה’ אינה יכולה להיות מוגבלת להיבט המיני בלבד, שכן תאווה היא רק דחף חזק השולט בגישות שלנו. איני יכול להכחיש שהרעיון של תאווה עצמו הוא מורכב, מבלבל ומביך. איך יכול אדם שהוא מוגבל להקיף דבר שנחשב גדול ורחב יותר? אדם שהוא תלת מימדי חי בעולם שהוא בעל ארבע מימדים בעוד שהתאווה היא ישות בעלת מימדים רבים אף יותר.

ההרגשה הטובה הראשונה שאני זוכר בחיי הייתה כשהייתי בן 5 ואבא שלי נתן לי בקבוק בירת ‘רולינג רוק’. ישבתי בפינה, שתיתי אותה והרגשתי איך האלכוהול משפיע עליי. הסתכלתי על אבא שלי מהצד השני של החדר והתמלאתי אהבה כלפיו. זו הייתה הרגשה נפלאה.

בזמן שהשתתפתי בסדנת שנים עשר הצעדים בסוף השבוע שעבר, הייתה לי את הזדמנות לחלוק את הניסיון, הכוח והתקווה שלי בנושא כפרה. לאחר הסדנה, התבקשתי לרשום את השיתוף שלי עבור מגזין ESSAY אשר מופיע כאן:

לפני שלוש שנים הייתי שרוי בכאב. היה זה הכאב של שיעבוד לתאווה אשר גרם לי צרות גדולות ואיים להרוס לי את שארית חיי. הכאב הביא אותי אל החברותא של SA. הודות לחברותא בSA ולספונסר שלי ובאמצעות עבודת התוכנית , הבעיות הגדולות שלי נהפכו באופן הדרגתי לברכה-לחיים של נקיות ופיכחון. השפיות חזרה אלי ומצאתי חיבור אמיתי לאלוהים. אני לא חושב שאי פעם אחפש אחר אלוהים באופן כה פעיל, זה קרה בעקבות הסבל והשבר שהתאווה גרמה לי.

לפני שהצטרפתי ל-SA ניסיתי כל כך הרבה פעמים להפסיק להשתמש אבל שום דבר לא עזר לי, אז נהגתי לומר לעצמי שאין החלמה כששמעתי סיפורים על אנשים שהיו בהחלמה. חשבתי על זה כעל כלום!

הספר הלבן שלנו אומר, “ראינו שהבעיה שלנו היא משולשת: פיזית, רגשית ורוחנית. הריפוי היה צריך לבוא בשלושתם” (SA 204). מצאתי שזה מועיל לחשוב על ארבעה תחומים: פיזי, נפשי, רגשי ורוחני.