Hello, my name is Ilona and I am a sexaholic. My sobriety date is January 14, 2016. When I walked into SA I was the only female in the room. This was expected, if at first, unsettling. I discussed this with my sponsor. She told me “What better way for your recovery being in a room of recovering men and learning to relate to them non-sexually?”

The SA White Book, page 178, has something similar: Our problem is lust, misplaced dependency, and defective attitudes. What better place to work on overcoming temptation than the sanctuary of a meeting where temptations may be present?

So my recovery journey began. Both places I’ve lived had one meeting I could attend. The other was men-only. I added open AA meetings. I asked that the men-only ones be changed. They voted no. The reason I was given was an outside issue. Some of the wives didn’t want their husbands going to mixed meetings. Where I am now, they voted yes the second time.

We are all sexaholics. We need to be able to attend as many meetings as possible. Yes, I’m a woman. It’s already challenging being a woman with this addiction. Our stories are similar. We need to help and support each other. What better way than attending meetings together. Learning and recovering together. A few women have attended meetings. Other than myself, none stayed.

I want recovery and I want it for everyone. It’s important to retain the women when they come through the doors of SA. Let’s welcome women with open doors and open meetings.