One Day at a Time

For me, recovery means that my worst day today is better than my best day in my insanity. What does that mean? It doesn’t sound rational.

By the time I came into SA, I was desperate. I wanted more than anything to stop acting out. I had promised myself I wouldn’t have another affair or other acting out behavior. I had worn a path into church, praying God would help me stop because I was desperate, full of guilt and shame.

After years of insanity, I began to see a therapist who suggested I go to SA. I was horrified. I didn’t want anyone else to know the horrible things I’d done. But that first SA meeting was the beginning of a new life.

I thought recovery was about stopping having sex. Instead, it was about letting go of lust and developing the ability to have healthy intimacy. I didn’t know intimacy was two people communicating honestly and lovingly.

I’ve learned to become aware of my surroundings. Nature became, and still is, my touchstone. When the craziness in my head starts, I take three deep breaths and look outside. Seeing a cloud, a flower or animal reminds me my Higher Power is with me all the time.

Thankfully recovery is One Day At a Time, as the photo above of a Belgian sponsee’s embroidery work and her cat “Milton” illustrate so well. Living in the moment and focusing on gratitude is what my life is like today. I’m not saying every day is perfect and that’s okay. Today I choose sobriety.