Words to Live By
I was born in New York City in 1942, and now live in Atlanta, Georgia. I have been a sexaholic for as long as I can remember. I joined SA on July 20, 2012, and have been sexually sober from then to now. I am retired today, and have two grownup daughters.
I have done a lot of service since the very beginning. I started sponsoring friends in prison and became the chair of the southeast region CFC in 2014. Currently I am the chair of my region, chairman of the SA CFC, and delegate to the GDA.
I wanted to share some Words to Live By that have been very helpful to my daily recovery. I hope they may be helpful to our friends in prison as well as to anyone in our fellowship.
Easy does it – Keep calm. I try to relax my senses and muscles, and not react to negative emotions.
Stay on the Beam – I need to remember the principles of the SA program instead of being distracted by emotional reactions.
One day at a time – I need to get just through today and not worry about the dead past or the imagined future. All I have control of is what I do today.
Avoid resentment – Resentment leads to fear and anger. Negative emotions give rise to thoughts of lust. I need to ask myself, “Where was I wrong? What was my negative thinking?”
Live each day to its fullest – I choose to be glad and happy for what my HP has given me and thank Him for my blessings of life and knowledge of the SA Program.
Read each day – Reading is important to healthy living. When I read, it exercises the mind. A healthy mind gives me a healthy body and spirit.
Pray each day – Prayer and reflection help clear the mind. Each day I thank my HP for the things He has given me.
Surrender, surrender, surrender – I practice doing this in every situation. Surrendering that which I cannot control. Surrendering negative thoughts to my HP.
Hope for the best – I try to be optimistic always. There is nothing to be gained by having negative thoughts.
Look through. Do not attach to – I don’t allow myself to stare at objects or persons who create lust or fear in me. I look away and pray for them.
My HP is my guide – I take time to listen to my HP and ask for his guidance. I meditate and ask my HP what I should do. I try to listen for His word in meditation.
Look for good – I need to look for the best in myself and other people; to always think good about others, and in consequence I experience that they see good in me.
Do not be distracted – As I go through my day, I do not allow myself to stray from what I plan to do, or to be distracted by other people or events. I practice staying focused on the objective.
When I speak, I think that my mother is watching – When someone says something to me, I try not to answer them right away, but to wait for ten seconds formulating my answer. If I cannot say something kind or positive, I better say nothing.
Ask for forgiveness – I ask my HP each night for forgiveness for my negative thoughts. I make amends to whomever I have harmed.
Do the right thing – I strive towards always doing the right thing. If I cannot, I need to pray for that person or event, even if it is painful.
Take a daily inventory every night – I go over all the events which have happened to me that day. I thank my HP for my blessings, and ask Him to take away my negative feelings.
Choose friends wisely – I need to stick with the winners; to choose companionship with positive thinkers; to connect with people who are positive and up-beat.
Exercise the body – A healthy body makes for a clear and positive mind. Light exercise each day lifts the spirit and creates positive thinking.
And these three come from the experience of the friends in prison I have worked with over the years:
Do not count the days, count the blessings – Do not to dwell on the length of your confinement but instead focus on what good you can do each day.
Write notes to people on the outside – Communicate with friends and relatives with brief notes. Do not wait for them to write. Take the initiative.
Read the newspaper, even if it is a week old – Stay connected with the outside world. Do not become isolated. Join self-help programs in prison. Keep up to date with the outside world.
