Surrendering Lust helped him to surrender the shame that came with it.

Yesterday, I started the day in the usual way with prayers and readings—I thank God for that. I then went to do some errands.  About mid-morning, there was a lust hit. I knew the danger, and I acted swiftly. I averted my eyes, got out of the situation, surrendered the look, and prayed. I acknowledged my powerlessness. The lust look is a weakness—it always has been.  

For me, this is not alarming. There was a temptation to look but no struggle or anything like that. I am a sexaholic and this can happen….I can’t take the first drink!  

Afterward, I felt a bit depressed, angry and lethargic. That afternoon, I helped my daughter with some work. I looked forward to the SA meeting in the evening.  

The topic of the meeting was Powerlessness.  I shared and I talked about the lust hit and its impact on my day.  Without the meeting, I would have forgotten about everything and moved on.  

That evening, I realized the importance of sharing with another sexaholic and bringing the inside out, especially if there was a lust incident.  

Reflecting on the day, I saw the power in the lust hit. It stirred up shame and negative feelings within me.  I realized the lust hit took away my peace and serenity.  

Having peace and serenity isn’t something I think about. However, yesterday morning, I was feeling good and my day was going great.  That is my peace and serenity—I can take it for granted.  

The lust robbed me of my serenity. It put me in a negative spirit and I felt depressed and lonely. Shame reared its ugly head.  

In the past, these negative feelings could make me vulnerable to act out. Without the meetings and prayers, it would be a matter of time before I would go to lust.    

I want to reflect on this and be aware when this happens again. Along with any lust, I want to surrender the shame and the negative feelings that may come to the surface. It’s all part of my sexaholism.