Recovery was not something to observe on the sidelines of life, but rather something to be lived. 

When I first came into the Fellowship, I was confounded and confused. I had no idea how to recover and definitely no recovery experience to share. So, I simply sat in meetings and absorbed the knowledge, information, and, most importantly, the experience, strength, and hope (ESH) that others had and shared. This continued for months. 

Then a longtimer, my grand-sponsor, shared a suggestion in a meeting: “Why doesn’t everybody in the meeting learn how to 12-Step a newcomer and stop being a carbuncle on the backside of SA?” After looking up the meaning of “carbuncle” (an abscess or boil), I decided to do just that and actually learn how to help others by focusing on my own recovery.

Longtimers in the program with good recovery also shared that recovery is not a spectator sport to be viewed from the stands. One had to get down on the field and play! So, after working the 12 Steps and finding a solution to all my problems, not just lust, I began trying to carry the message to others, including by raising my hand and sharing in meetings.

My SA Sole Purpose group had guidelines around sharing. These included the use of clinical language (e.g., acted out with self/others, viewed adult material/content, or used services of sex workers) rather than the graphic language of our disease. This has helped ensure the well-being of our group and the safety of our members, especially since our meetings are mixed.

Our SA Sole Purpose group has other guidelines, suggested formats, and best practices for meetings, Step work, and sponsorship. These tools have been extremely helpful to me and others in the group. I am extremely grateful for these guidelines, my recovery, and my HP.