I think for me, the most important Step was Step “0.” So, before I attempted to do the SA Twelve Steps, I’ve been working on Step Zero. Here’s a format I wrote, answered, and read to my Accountability Partner and my Sponsor.

Compulsion is: having started the process with one fix, one drink, one look, one thought we cannot stop through our own power of will. Because of our physical sensitivity to lust, we are completely in the grip of a destructive power greater than ourselves.

• Have I stopped compulsion in all its forms?
• Have I stopped feeding lust? —through my eyes? —my fantasies? —my memories?
• Have I stopped living only and always inside my own head? This means, do I keep my thoughts, battles, and struggles a secret? How do I deal with those outside of myself?
• List and identify my forms of compulsion.
• What are my methods of acting out?
• What’s my biggest trigger or triggers?
• What do I do to stop the compulsions from happening?
• Do I have an accountability partner? If yes, explain the relationship. If no, why not?
• What am I willing to do to achieve sexual sobriety?
• Am I getting involved in the program of SA? How? What do I do daily?
• Do I have a sponsor?

Obsession: that fixed idea that takes us back time and time again to our particular drug or some substitute, to recapture the ease and comfort we once knew.

• What do I obsess over?
• Do I talk about the overwhelming impact that the temptations have on me to my sponsor, accountability partner or group?

I hope this format can help others.