I’ve learned in recovery that sexual sobriety is a gift, granted by God as I understand Him. Sobriety is not something I can control, any more than I can control lust.

I’m reminded of this every day when talking to my Daily Renewal partner. One of the lines in the script that we use is, “Do you realize that this renewal doesn’t keep us sober—God does…?” An earlier line asks, “Are you willing to do whatever is necessary to protect this sobriety?” That’s really all I can do—try to protect my chances of receiving the gift. Of course, I can also take actions which cause me to throw sobriety away, or at least severely jeopardize my chances of receiving it.

I think of sobriety as being like a Christmas present, waiting for me under the tree. When I wake up and remember this gift, I’m faced with a choice. I can calmly arise, go to the bathroom and shower and brush my teeth and hair, get dressed, carefully walk down the stairs (some call them Steps), go into the living room, open that precious gift and enjoy it all day. Or I can try to take a shortcut by jumping out of my bedroom window, hope I land safely and that the front door isn’t locked, and try to race to the tree. I’ve tried both methods, and strongly recommend the former.

Of course, the morning ritual described above is just a metaphor for working (or not) a solid recovery program. I can do Daily Renewals, Daily Sobriety Contracts, work the Steps, go to meetings, do service work, make phone calls, follow my sponsor’s recommendations, and use all of the other available tools. That won’t guarantee me sobriety, but it will certainly improve my chances of making it to the tree and enjoying that blessed gift for another 24 hours.

[For more information about Daily Renewals and Contracts, see pp. 70 – 78 in Practical Recovery Tools, 1994 – 2003.]