In July 1985, a man loaned me a copy of an earlier version of the White Book. I read it twice in two weeks. My mind was numbed by remnants of the lust drug, and I couldn’t take in a lot of it. But what I remember is the tremendous feeling of hope I felt after decades of misery and failure. I began to believe that I could get clean of the terrible obsessions and compulsions that haunted me.

I remember one time in particular when Roy helped me personally. It was September 1987. The SA group I was in had just self-destructed over issues between personalities. I was one of the “personalities.” I was full of anger and fear toward another member. I felt alone with my disease. I called Roy.

He told me to pray for that other member. He told me to pray that God would give that member everything he needed to be happy, and that God would give him more than he gave me. That was hard! I wanted the other man to suffer. I said the prayer daily, although I didn’t really want what I was praying for. I don’t know if it did the other man any good, but it started a change in me. Since then, I’ve prayed that prayer for others. This has been a powerful prayer for me.

Today I feel sadness at Roy’s death, but an immense sense of gratitude for his life and work.