Introducing New GDA Chair

“Arrest and surrender in order to be set free—what a paradox!” (SA 83) Thus began my story of recovery on April 7, 1989, when my secret life lived in bondage to lust was shattered by an actual arrest, the resulting publicity, and the necessity of facing the literal question of whether to live or die.

I was at a turning point. I could continue along the familiar path, though separated from those I love. That path was punctuated by the highs and lows of sexual addiction, lived largely as a denizen of adult bookstores, dependent on masturbation and anonymous sex to medicate the pain of living. Or I could choose the unknown life—lived in the light, without duplicity, with my brokenness in plain view and open to God and those who love me. That I chose the second path was without doubt a matter of “circumstance rather than by any virtue” of mine (12&12 38).

That choice led me to SA. While I was at a treatment center, another patient told me about finding SA before he entered the center and the hope he had found there. He also told me that the next SA International Convention would be held in Milwaukee a few weeks after I left treatment—only three hours from my hometown.

Thus Twelfth Stepped, I walked into my first SA meeting at the Milwaukee convention in July 1989. It was a gathering of hundreds of sexaholics, happy to be with one another and openly sharing their lives. I heard others tell my story, except that they had found a solution. Right away, I felt the love and acceptance of those around me, and I knew I belonged.

Returning home, I knew that if I wanted to stay sober I would have to start an SA meeting. Led by my pastor to another fellow who wanted what I wanted, the two of us held our first meeting in August 1989. I had no idea that starting that meeting had anything to do with service, I just knew I wanted what I saw in the folks at the Milwaukee convention—and to have that, I had to do what they did. I had to admit defeat and surrender pride and ego. I needed a new relationship with the God of my understanding. I had to ask for help and make myself vulnerable and available to others.

SA has restored me to life in ways I never imagined. I’ve found a way of living based on the Twelve Steps and the examples of other members who have what I want. I have not had a perfect recovery since beginning in 1989, but by the grace of God, I never gave up, never quit, never left SA. I am presently sober and experiencing progressive victory over lust since March 12, 2003.

Service has been the lynchpin of my recovery. It has tethered me to the safe harbor afforded me by SA. I serve today as GDA chair for the same reason that I first served in starting my home group. I serve because I want SA sobriety and I have found it to be true that I can’t keep it if I don’t give it away.

There are countless ways to be of service at the local level, in Intergroups, regional assemblies and as Delegates, Trustees, or members of the various committees that serve the fellowship as a whole. My hope is that each of us will find ways to contribute our diverse talents, experiences, and knowledge so that the next person who wants our solution will find a thriving fellowship offering them the same hope and new life that I have been so fortunate to have found.

Let’s continue together along the Road of Happy Destiny!