When I attended my first SA meeting on June 7th, 2014, I finally learned what my problem was. Hearing “The Solution” brought me hope. During my last year of acting out, I had become a chronic marijuana user and daily drinker. I was high on something 24 hours a day, and I withdrew from lust, alcohol, and drugs all at the same time. This was rough at first. I stayed sober in SA almost four months, but then I relapsed and learned that I had to be more honest with myself. Today my sobriety date is September 30th, 2014.

My husband joined S-Anon shortly after I walked into SA. These programs have helped us to develop a healthy relationship, parent our two daughters, and live our everyday lives. This past year-and-a-half has been a miraculous journey.

Retreats and conventions have been an important part of my recovery. I attended my first SA International Convention in January 2015. I shared my First Step there to a room full of strangers. That was truly a spiritual experience.

In April 2015, I attended the Northwest Regional Retreat, where I learned how to let go of shame. In July 2015 I attended the International Convention in Chicago, and the entire weekend was a spiritual experience for me. I learned more about how to rely on my Higher Power. I plan to attend the SA International Convention in San Diego in January. I’ve also participated in one-day retreats where I live. Each time I attend any of these recovery weekends, I learn something that has changed my recovery for the better.

I still attend AA meetings, and I celebrated my one-year birthday there on June 9th, 2015. I do service work both in SA and AA. Service has allowed me to get out of myself and focus on others. My AA home group is a women’s-only meeting, and sometimes, when I feel it serves a purpose (or when somebody asks “What is this other Twelve Step program you’re in?”) I break my SA anonymity so that others might be helped.

Sponsoring women—both in SA and AA—has been a huge part of my recovery. At times I feel inadequate, but when I don’t have experience with something, I know I can ask my sponsor or others for help. There is always someone willing to help.

Not all of my sponsees have stayed sober, and not all of them have kept me as a sponsor. But as Bill W. has said, sponsorship helps keep me sober. It’s difficult to be in despair or self-pity when a newcomer walks through the door and is desperate and scared. Newcomers need someone to listen, and being that ear takes me away from my self-centered ways. I’ve found that when I forget about me, I feel taken care of. That is a miracle of the program for me.

Another miracle I’ve experienced in SA is the ability to see men as children of God, rather than as objects to lust after or to hate. At first I lusted after the men in SA meetings, but by following my sponsor’s suggestions, today I am able to see those men as my brothers in sobriety. By attending our mixed meetings and doing the work suggested, I have overcome the obsession with men, one day at a time. This never happened by running away or avoiding them.

Then out of nowhere I started lusting after a woman in my AA home group (I thought I was safe because it’s a women-only meeting). I was embarrassed to share this with anyone, including my sponsor—but I knew my life was in jeopardy. So I shared with my sponsor, followed her directions, and today the obsession is gone; I’m able to talk with that woman without lusting. Oddly, before SA, I had never lusted after a woman, but through SA I’ve learned that lust can come in from anywhere. And as soon as any lust comes in, I need to bring it to the light.

When I came into SA, I was suicidal; I had a big empty hole inside. Today I can say that most days I’m happy with life and life’s circumstances. I remember that when I first joined SA, if I felt truly okay, it lasted for maybe an hour. Then I would have weeks feeling crazy. But because I’ve continued to work my program, I now have weeks of peace at a time. That’s what SA has brought me. I never knew peace existed. Now that I know it exists, I want more serenity, and to get more serenity, I need to work on my spiritual condition and maintain my connection with my Higher Power. With a strong connection to my Higher Power, anything is possible.