I have a best friend. I’ll call him Lester. I met Lester when I was about 3 years old and we became close very quickly. Since then, we have almost always been together. Lester loves me more than a brother could, and he worries about me constantly. He cannot bear to see me in pain. If I’m sad, he immediately tries to cheer me up. If I am in conflict, he always takes my side. I know Lester will never abandon me. I foresee him being by my side — my closest companion — till the very end.

There are a couple of challenges with my friendship with Lester. First of all, he is very immature. He stopped maturing around the age of thirteen. Because he never reached emotional adulthood he gives me terrible, absolutely horrible, advice. This is further complicated by the fact that he is charismatic, persuasive, and persistent such that I have always listened to him and followed his advice instinctively. Unfortunately, this has caused me much grief in my life. Although he is well-meaning, Lester never has healthy suggestions for healing my pain.

Lester’s real name is Lust. The story of Lester is an analogy I have recently begun carrying with me to help me take a position of gratitude toward my lust. When I am troubled, I imagine Lust placing a loving hand on my shoulder and saying, “It’s okay. I can help get your mind off this pain. Remember what we did and/or saw in 1996? Let’s make some more pleasant memories like that.” The greater my disturbance, the harder Lust tries to cheer me up. If I take my pain to bed with me, Lust even tries to cheer me up in my sleep with erotic dreams.

My attitude toward Lust as a loving friend helps me not fight back. Instead I find myself smiling, thanking Lust for helping me see that I was in pain, and then turning to my new Best Friend, God, for a healthier solution. I sometimes respond to Lust by saying, “I’m okay. Thank you. Let the adults work on this.” Then I invite God into my present moment and call a fellow in the program so the three of us can work on a mature response to my pain.

Instead of resenting my lust, I now see how it can be a tool to find God and make the real Connection helping me experience the Tenth Step promises: “And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone—even [lust]… If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame… We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation… so long as we keep in a fit spiritual condition” (AA pg. 84-85).