Hello all, I’m Galina, a sexaholic from Ukraine!

When they sent me the letter inviting me to share about the conference, the idea excited me, but over time I began to doubt myself. Did I have anything to share? Was I even capable of explaining my thoughts? It’s scary, but I’ll try to take the action and face my fear. I hope that this story will be useful, even to just one person. Maybe that person could even turn out to be me.

I participated in the SA Russian-language convention. This event took place on the 11th, 12th, and 13th of November, 2016, when Moscow was already cold and slushy. But the convention was a good alternative to the cold, a place to warm up in a friendly and sober atmosphere. The trip to the convention seemed impossible for me, due to a lack of finances, but miracles started appearing from the very beginning. The convention has a committee that covers part of the cost of transportation for participants who are experiencing temporary financial difficulties. All they asked of me was to swallow my pride and fill out an application. My Higher Power commissioned this journey. A couple of days later I got my answer: they granted me the money, and I could go to the convention. Now I had to gather my courage and travel to a country with which we are in an armed conflict. This is always a difficult moment for me when it comes up. I would like to inspire those who, like me, are on a tight budget: help is possible. All you have to do is take some small actions. God does the rest.

Why did I recall the conflict between our countries (Russia and Ukraine)? Because comments and opinions on the topic slipped out at the convention. And so I remembered that rage, for me, is just as dark and dangerous as lust. And each time I looked for a way to avoid embroiling myself in these conversations, surrendering again and again. Perhaps this isn’t what I should be sharing, but no one is protected from this. How, in such situations, do we maintain the unity of our fellowship, how do we practice the Traditions and principles of SA? I put my knowledge into practice. These people and I are united by a common disease and a common decision: to live in a new spiritual basis. Why not let God into these painful topics and heal the sickness and hostility inside me?

I stayed in a hostel in the ground of the convention. We had shared breakfasts where we read reflections on the 11th Step in a small, comfortable circle. For me, this was a new level of trust and openness with the women and men of SA. This is a truly magical action — outside the window was the most beautiful Catholic cathedral, the soft snow was falling, and we were silently holding hands, each receiving acceptance and warmth.

In the evening after the concert, we gathered in a room and played all kinds of games: “contact,” “crocodile,” “empire,” and “aphorisms.” I don’t know if they have these games in America or Europe, but they really help in getting to know each other better. For some reason my first impression about a person is that they don’t like me; I only see my flaws, and I don’t see myself as a very pleasant person. But after these games I see laughing SA members, kind, funny, unique, and beautiful. My need for closeness is fulfilled in these lively games and laughter. I am thankful that you are teaching me how to be a child, to socialize without lust in a place that is safe for me. The convention schedule could really use more of these informal gatherings.

This year I had a new experience in service at the convention. We prepared the Intergroup information table (flyers on the structure of SA service, plans and reports from the Literature Committee, general information on the Russian-language Intergroup, its goals and functions). This information seemed unhelpful for convention attendees. But we strive to continue our service as we can for today.

The convention fulfilled my desire to see SA members face-to-face, to share how the program works in my life, and to witness the miracles and how our Higher Power works in the lives of other SA members. It is very helpful for me to see the growth and maturity in SA. I’m thankful for the speakers, and for the fact that I can identify with them and realize that my experience is not that unique, nor is the growth of the SA fellowship in Ukraine; that in different corners of the world, almost every sexaholic is working the Steps. Even when in the meetings there are only one or two people, when there aren’t any sponsors, and when there are failures, there is still hope for a free, joyful, and sober life.

But there are differences: For example, in Poland the SA community works very closely with the Catholic Church, which supports the principles of SA and helps however possible with rooms for SA meetings. But Iran faces just the opposite situation: the religion and culture of the country support polygamy and do not accept the SA principles. I was staggered by the willingness of Iranians to meet, even in parks or on the banks of a lake to conduct meetings. I had imagined 20 people in a common room holding a meeting. Thank you for letting me learn from you.

I am thankful to the publishers of Essay for the opportunity to share my experience.

With gratitude and respect,