I have been going through a rough patch in my recovery. For the last few weeks and months I have been coasting. Today is 501 days of sobriety. That is 1 year, 4 months and 2 weeks of sobriety. When I walked back into these rooms I was on fire. I had to stay sober. My life depended on it. As I gained sobriety life was getting better. My wife started to like me again. I was getting promotions and raises at work. Work was exciting again. I came out of the fog and I could see a great life ahead! Then the winter months hit. January and February. The sun went down early. The malaise took over in my life and the old habits of isolation and laziness begin to creep in. I stopped going to as many meetings. I wasn’t actively working the Steps with my sponsor. I wasn’t taking as many sponsee calls. I began to not write out my daily reprieve nor any other recovery experiences. I was spiraling towards a slip.

Then I got a huge wake up call. I was outside working in the yard. I picked up the phone and I heard the words that snapped me into a whole new reality. “I am calling to let you know, I have had a slip. You should get a new sponsor.” In that instant I felt like I had been punched in the gut. If my sponsor couldn’t stay sober how was I to stay sober? That is the question that kept going through my head.

I immediately called someone I have a lot of respect for in this program. Someone I knew I could be honest with. I asked him to be my sponsor. He told me that he was willing, but I had to put in the work. He wasn’t going to babysit me or chase me to get my Step work done. He immediately had me work a 10th Step. I hadn’t been doing my 10th Step. So I pulled out the spreadsheet I use and started writing. As I put “pen to paper” something started to awaken inside me. I felt alive again for the first time in months. I felt like I could once again join the human race.

So the question is how do I stay sober from lust? In order to stay sober from lust in the past I aggressively pursued a recovery. Aggressive Pursuit! We can’t think our way into right action, but we can act our way into right thinking. That has become my mantra. When I was in my disease I aggressively pursued pornography. I aggressively pursued any object of my lust (women, cars, money, popularity, etc.). I spent hours aggressively pursuing the next high.

When I started this program in earnest on March 6, 2017 I was aggressively pursuing recovery and right action. I worked the Steps almost daily. I started listening to a podcast to learn from the old-timers while carrying the message. What I learned from the recordings was one central message. Every old timer that recovered from lust, without fail, AGGRESSIVELY PURSUED recovery and a spiritual awakening! Read page 85 of the Alcoholics Anonymous. It told me directly why I was spiraling towards a slip. I let up on the spiritual program of action. The spiritual awakening doesn’t just happen. It is a spiritual program of ACTION! So I need to seek after the spiritual program as aggressively as I sought out all the pursuits of lust. Today I am once again finding the REAL CONNECTION. I know I am home! I am aggressively in pursuit of a recovered life! A GREAT LIFE!