Thank you Lee T. for agreeing to be interviewed for Essay. Your sobriety date is 1986. During your 34 years of sexual sobriety, what have been some of the key habits and behaviors you have built and maintained to stay sober and grow in recovery?

In all of my addiction recovery programs I just use the term “recovery” instead of “abstinence”(OA), “clean” (drugs) or “sober” (SA/AA). For me, it better conveys the depth of the process of achieving a “spiritual awakening” and then continuing with “spiritual progress.” It’s also a purely one day at a time journey for me such that when each year passes I take a 24-hour chip instead of one for the number of years.

To your question, the most important would be participating in meetings and fellowship on a regular basis. For me, that includes meetings in other 12-Step fellowships, OA and AA. Secondly, lots of one-on-one sharing, maybe up to six people a day. I find there is a lot of power in this. Doctor Bob and Bill W. started it all off well before there were meetings and literature. Thirdly, identifying lust as my key issue, whether that be sexual lust, or lust for food or drugs. I have to continue to pursue progressive release from lust. And finally, being patient as I utilize the tools and principles of the program.

What was SA like when you joined?

Well, Harvey A. started the first Nashville meeting with one other person, in 1984, and I joined up in 1986. There were just six of us then and only one meeting a week. Today, there are many meetings in and around Nashville. There was no telephone line or internet for the group and I remember I used to answer all the correspondence by hand.

What have been some of your major challenges over the years?

One has been the constant progression of technology. This has led to more and more powerful forms of the drug, to the point where lust now permeates our society. For example, already by 2007, the combined income of Yahoo, IBM and the American National Football League was less than that of Internet pornography. Over time, I’ve seen the introduction of cable TV, the 900 numbers we have in the States (phone sex), the internet and smartphones. You can now literally carry the addiction around in your pocket. People can choose to be totally immersed in it, or released from it. Thankfully, my commitment to the SA community has led to progressive release from lust as the new technologies developed. I have also had to deal with my own personal obsessive/compulsive behavior in areas like busyness and workaholism.

What about 2020?

This year has been difficult, especially with the isolation. With my program meetings and being a retired physician, I’m used to sitting with people in a room and connecting with them. However, I’ve been able to embrace technology in a positive way and attend plenty of SA and OA Zoom meetings. With AA, I have depended on phone conversations with other alcoholics. I’ve also been staying in contact via text messages and telephone calls more than ever before and have stayed committed to the program. Also, Covid-19 has meant I’ve had to leave Nashville for most of the year. While I still have a house there, I now spend 4 out of 5 weeks near the Great Smoky Mountains, a beautiful place in East Tennessee where it’s safer for me and my wife.

Lee, you mentioned earlier about overwork. Are you enjoying a better life balance these days with hobbies and recreation?

Yes. Where I am most of the time now, I go for regular walks, about an hour each day. I really enjoy the wildlife, wildflowers and walking my two miniature dachshunds. I’m also a bit of an information “junky” and love to learn new things. I’m interested in science, literature, linguistics and cooking.

What would you say to newcomers, or to anyone who is struggling to get or stay sober?

Firstly, I have never seen anyone I would call a “hopeless” case. At one time, I was so powerless and depressed, I wanted to die. I had tried using psychiatric resources for four years without success. I was very near dying before I began recovering. But today, I lead a productive life which has included 27 years practicing medicine before I retired. To those who struggle, I would ask them – “Are you investing as much energy in your recovery as you did in the active addiction?” “Are you willing to go to any lengths for release from lust?” “Do you understand that recovery is not a part-time job? It needs to be your main priority – everything else in your life is built around it.”