R.K., of Simi Valley, California, writes, “…Speaking for myself, I see that the great key to my serenity and recovery and sobriety is anchored in the realization of my powerlessness over my lust. This powerlessness — just as true today as it was nine years and ten months ago — is what energizes my surrender of my lust and other defects to the only One who has the Remedy. The longer I am sober the more I see, year after year, the true nature of my defective self as it is revealed in my relations with others. This defect of self is at heart being a rebel against God, a self-centered arrogant child who sees himself as the supreme being in his world. This self-centered self-sufficiency is what fueled my addiction and all of the other diseased processes that I was programming into my being. The progressive awareness of my defective self goes hand-in-hand with the progressive revelation of the application of the Remedy. But only as I see truly the defective spiritual incapacity of my being, can I reach out in my extremity and desperation to the One through whom I can do all things. I remember that One whose birth we celebrate this Christmas said, ‘Of myself I can do nothing…the Father doeth the works.’ For me to rest in my goodness has been the faulty belief that kept me from surrender, sobriety, life, and joy.

I realize that this conviction of mine runs counter to much current psychological thinking, but I firmly hold this to be true for me and am more convinced than ever this is the way it must be through my own experience. The beauty of our First Step is to see that we truly have nothing in our hands as we make our surrender to God. I see that I am absolutely powerless over me and that my life is unmanageable by me; and this is as true today as it was ten years ago. But today I do have the choice that I never had before, and this choice has come through a daily surrender so that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.…”