When I became the IGR of the Dutch Intergroup in 2018, I joined the regional (EMER) Correctional Facilities Committee because I realized I could have been arrested for many a column in the chronicle of my powerlessness and unmanageability. Soon, I offered my service as secretary. Thus moving “to the middle of the SA life raft” I met a lot of trusted servants from the US who were involved in the worldwide CFC service.

In “Tucson” Ray’s footsteps 
One of them regularly offered workshops in sponsoring sexaholics in prison. Sometimes it was just him and me, and I experienced great fellowship and was filled by the atmosphere of loving earnestness and compassion. This direct training in Sponsoring by Media, in short SbM, is supported by a whole array of tools—like template letters, a list of special tips, and, of course, names of sexaholics wanting a sponsor. 

These tools had been developed since the pioneer of this service, Ray from Tucson, Arizona, started his march through the institutions. Lovingly remembered as “Tucson Ray” and with the patience of an angel, Ray held on to his aim to get entry into the prison system. Listening to him sharing* on how he persisted, it goes to show he did so by holding on to the hand of his HP. The humility with which he gives this testimony of heartfelt service touches me. The international CF committee has recently worked on a letter to chaplaincy. I pray to work my program in a way that I’m given the perseverance that Ray showed in getting access to correctional facilities. 

The “Workshop Leiden/online”— sponsoring as a Group 
Inspired by the SbM workshops, I suggested to the fellows in Leiden, the Netherlands, to use half of our pre-meeting fellowship time for that service. They agreed. We started in February 2020 and were happy to welcome fellows from several countries of our region via media, only to go solely online a month later due to the pandemic. Gradually a meeting format came about and within a few months we were sponsoring around ten sexaholics in US prisons. 

Helped by the experience, strength, and hope of SACFC servants, we overcame the teething problems—like how to guard the sponsee’s safety. The shares of fellows who have left prison in SA recovery have proven invaluable. US fellows offered help as conduits, forwarding letters, both in print and via email, to the facilities. In the course of almost two years, we have started corresponding with over thirty sponsor requesters. Not all of them started working the Program. One of the requesters, assigned to me, decided after my introductory letter that he didn’t relate, only to come back after a few months. He admitted he had been in denial. I‘m still sponsoring him by mail, and I am ever so grateful for it. 

Often the members of the workshop are touched by the chronicles of our sponsees: the pain, both inflicted upon and caused by. What a blessing to be reminded of my insanity, the chaos I caused and the harm I did. What a grace to be granted a non-judgmental and forgiving attitude by working Step Twelve as a group this way. 

Contact the Workshop SbM Leiden online through wrkshpsaleiden@gmail.com

How it might work
This should really be wrapped up with a call to service. Here are a few tips:

• Put this service on the agenda of the next business meeting of your home group and discuss whether the group could start sponsoring a sexaholic in prison.
• In order to give your fellows a clue, read this article to the group.
• Request access to the Tucson Ray Tapes: https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/17Rfs50PAaEyKOgoucfDOQ9HFtjutV2OuKDTHUgee_cU/mobilebasic
• Find your local/regional SbM coordinator through sacfc1@gmail.com
• It goes to show how you can take on a sponsee in prison as an individual member too.