On July 26, 2007 at 5:00 p.m., I was arrested in a small Southern city for propositioning an undercover police officer in a city park. I never wanted to go to that city again and legally can never be in one of their parks again. Last night, however, business travel took me there briefly. I was within a mile of where I had been arrested. I was flooded with an immense sense of anguish. I did not want to be there. I texted several guys for prayer. I asked God why I needed to be here of all places in North America.

His answer was that He wanted to remind me of what He had done to get my attention. Two SA friends called and we talked. Both reminded me that the past is the past, and that it’s what it took to get me to SA. They reminded me that God has a purpose, and I would not be the man I am today if it were not for the arrest. I would not have the experience of God’s grace and love today. The brokenness is what helps me to be of service to others, to share my heart with others. It took stripping me of everything to make me willing to be used by God to help others. Without the arrest I would not have the hope I have to share today. It is through brokenness that I have learned humility, compassion, mercy, and encouragement for others.

I learned some valuable lessons during my three days in jail. I asked God to use me while I was there, and He did. I was able to share the program message with five other guys who were struggling with addictions. I learned humility when an inmate who was leaving gave me his drinking cup (cups were a prized commodity). He filled it with water and brought me a drink of water. I saw mercy, compassion, brotherly love, kindness, respect, and courtesy among the inmates—more than I had ever seen in any religious institution I have been affiliated with.

Most of all, I learned that when stripped of everything, I still have the power of choice over my response to the situation. I had been wrong. I had broken the law. I deserved to be in jail. I chose to surrender it to God and allow Him to use me while I was there. I would not trade the experience of those three days for anything.

As I was leaving the city, I prayed for the arresting officers and judges. I asked that God protect them, bless them financially, and allow them to feel His presence. I thanked God for their service to the community.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake” (AA 417). The greatest blessings in life are spiritual. As I have moved forward in my recovery, I cannot contain the joy and excitement. I want to tell everyone how God has used this program to change my life. I want to be used by Him any way He sees fit. I want to be of service to the addict who still suffers. I want to help others find the God of their understanding.

“This is the way to a faith that works” (12&12 34). I am humbled and feel unworthy and unqualified to be of service to God. I’m just a poor sex addict who is powerless over lust and his selfish, sinful nature. I yearn for fellowship and I wish I could meet all of you. “Abandon yourself to God as you understand God . . . and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny” (AA 164). It is truly all good.