Earlier today I was talking with my wife about some older friends who attend a religious service every day of the week. As we discussed their devotion, she said that the way in which I work my SA program is pretty much like that, too. I agreed with her.

That short sentence at the beginning of Chapter 5 in Alcoholics Anonymous is profound in its brevity. “Half measures availed us nothing.” We read it and hear it often as we open our meetings. Mostly we just treat it as part of the verbiage. My experience, however, is that it is merely a description of what works for us addicts. As many a newcomer discovers the hard way, there is no SA-Lite if one is truly an addict. Fortunately, in my view, many men and women who come to our program are in the grips of a really destructive habit rather than being addicted to lust. This is a good thing, as I would not wish my addiction on anybody. 

These people come to SA meetings, get a sense that sex is optional and that they can stop lusting, and then they go on their way. I am happy for them. I also am glad to see them leave, for their success can distract the real sexaholic. For me as a sexaholic, I must accept powerlessness and unmanageability as absolutes in my life rather than as nuisances. For me as a sexaholic I must be willing to ask God’s protection and care with complete abandon, for nothing else has worked for me. For me as a sexaholic, half measures both avail me nothing and are, in fact, potentially deadly if I think they will help me stay sober.

For me as a sexaholic, the only healthy choice I make each day is to keep my relationship with God as I understand God in the center of my life. It is that healthy choice that gets my body to a meeting five days a week, that tells me to answer the phone and return calls, and that requires my daily contract for sobriety and reading our literature. When I choose not to make a healthy choice some days, I am rudely reminded that my addiction is as present and as threatening as ever. Since I do not want to return to the life of an active sexaholic, I find I must literally re-center my life that day. Half measures avail us nothing works its wonders again! 

The personal reward for my healthy choice means coming to the end of another day with serenity and with no secrets. My healthy choice also means I have not betrayed my wife’s trust nor regressed into the self centeredness that dominated my life for decades. In a very literal sense, my healthy choice means another day when I could be happy, joyous and free from the bondage of self. Given that is where accepting no half measures leads me, I am grateful. And then tomorrow I get to make that healthy choice and be grateful again. It’s a wonderful new life, indeed.