One night not too long ago my wife said to me “Why don’t you bring home some wine and chocolate after work, and we could have sex.” She said that to me having just asked if I was interested in having sex at that moment, but I said I was tired. In this situation I think the two of us not having had sex for over a year had something to do with my response. We have done abstinence periods before, but this time was more related to her health issues. My response was a little more laid back than she had hoped for. I was tired, but since when did that stop me from springing into action? We kind of just drifted off to sleep from there.

I thought about this the next day after not having wine, chocolate, or sex. I realized I had not asked her to carve the invitation for sex in stone. I also realized I’ve been so comfortable in my recovery that part of me did not want to have sex. I have been so comfortable not counting the days or having to be so careful with lust in the marriage bed. I love my wife more than ever but we haven’t been getting too worked up about sex one way or the other these days. When it comes to wine, I don’t drink anymore. My wife on the other hand likes to have a glass now and then. Chocolate she loves. I am sort of now and then with that. Now the idea of sex now and then—or maybe not at all—that has always seemed impossible. But with God’s help and this Fellowship, I can be okay whichever way it goes.