She learned that she is safe and protected within the boundaries of the Traditions and Concepts.

I serve in an SA group and on an SA Trustee committee. I’ve learned that the Concepts and Traditions are boundaries that not only protect people from me but also protect me from people. These boundaries, the Traditions and Concepts, tell me where a group or person ends and where I begin. When I break one of these boundaries, I am blocked by self in some way, and the service to others is harmed. The Steps help me get unblocked, make amends when necessary, and reconnect to God and His will for me. Part of His will is maintaining the boundaries of the Traditions and Concepts, which allow me to serve in a healthy way. 

Another way to look at the Three Legacies is that the Traditions and Concepts are the roles that God would have me play or the ideals He would have me progress towards, serving others. When I fail to live up to these roles, the Steps help me course correct. I’ll give an example using Tradition Ten and Concepts Three and Ten. 

Tradition Ten:

When new to SA, I talked openly about my faith tradition. One day, a member informed me of Tradition Ten, which states, “[Sexaholics Anonymous] has no opinion on outside issues; hence the SA name ought never be drawn into public controversy” (Service Manual ch.1 p. 3). He explained that we do not discuss religion or politics in meetings, as they can cause dissension and distraction. We can easily lose our primary purpose, Tradition Five, which states, “Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the sexaholic who still suffers” (Service Manual ch. 1 p. 3).

I continued to talk religiously. At one point, the member shared that three members in our homegroup were abused by leaders in my faith community, and sharing these outside issues could send them out of SA, causing serious harm. I made amends immediately. I no longer bring up religious or political topics.

Concepts Three and Ten:

SA committees and subcommittees carry out work for the SA Trustees. I lead a project on a subcommittee. Sometimes, members try to micromanage subcommittee chairs by pressuring them on how to do their job. Individuals can even incite others to apply pressure as well. They can justify this by saying that they are allowed because they are on the committee/subcommittee or are a concerned member of SA. 

Concept Three states, “To ensure effective leadership, we should endow each element of SA’s service structure, the General Delegate Assembly and the Board of Trustees, and its staffs and committees with a traditional ‘Right of Decision’” (SA Service Manual ch.1 p. 3). Concept Three ensures that those tasked with work have the right to decide on how to carry out the work in peace.

Inquiries, suggestions, or comments are best reserved for committee or Trustee meetings, where individuals can comment within a timeframe. Committees and Trustee meetings can even vote on changes for that project. However, after that, the trusted servant has the right to decide how best to make those approved changes without harassment.

While project leaders have the responsibility to listen to all members, they only answer to the committee as a whole, the Board as a whole, and the General Delegate Assembly (GDA) as a whole. Also, feedback must be given within a limited time frame to allow the project leader to listen, discern, decide (Concept Three), and get to work. 

When I began this project, I made WhatsApp groups with volunteers for communication. It wasn’t long before the volunteers were telling me how to do everything, making every little task a debate and dragging the work out. I was exhausted. Knowing that the Concepts supported me, I knew that meant God supported me. I exercised my “Right of Decision” and acted. I shut down all my large WhatsApp groups and started new ones with three or fewer people. I only spoke to individuals about the part of the work that they did, and nothing more. Then, I talked about the project as a whole at the committee meetings, where everyone could comment for a time. The result was completing work in record time in peace. 

I truly believe that learning the Traditions and Concepts is a serious responsibility, and ignorance is no excuse. By staying in ignorance, I am taking my life into my own hands, instead of placing my life in God’s hands (Step Three) by progressing in the Traditions and Concepts.