A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and you mean your mother.

Cross dressers are clothes-minded.

 
You Know You’re a Sexaholic When…

• With zero sobriety, you walk into your first meeting with a plan. A real sexaholic always has a plan. “Three months and I’m out of here.”
• With two weeks in the program, you think, “These people are crazy!”
• With 30 days, the spouse is still beating you, but you say, “Please don’t leave me!”
• At 90 days, the real sexaholic says, “I love my Higher Power, and my Higher Power loves me — me, and only me.”
• At your first year birthday, you say, “I bet these people don’t think I’m crazy anymore.”
• At two years you walk into your Intergroup with lots of bright ideas, such as, Let’s change the voicemail message to this:
  • Press one, and keep pressing one, if you’re obsessive-compulsive.
  • Have someone press two, if you’re co-dependent.
  • Press 3, 4, 5 and 6 if you have multiple personality disorder.
  • If you’re depressed, don’t press any buttons because we won’t call you back.
  • If you’re schizophrenic, wait for the voice to tell you which buttons to push.
  • If you’re paranoid, wait right there. We know where you are and we’re coming to get you.

(For an explanation of Rule #62, see the AA Twelve and Twelve, p. 149. —Ed.)