Every morning while the water is heating for my coffee, I write in the notebook I always carry in my pocket. This is in the form of a personal letter to God on the following topics: my feelings, how I am doing, and what I am harboring.

I pour out the truth on these matters, getting right to the point, and just letting the feelings flow. It can be as little as one page or as many as four pages. It’s these feelings and issues that I bring to God in my quiet time before work—either during my train/shuttle bus commute, or lying on a mat on the floor of my office at work.

A couple of hours later, I read it to my sponsor, who gives me his two cents on it. Then he shares with me what is going on in his life, any writings he has done that morning, and what he has taken from his quiet time. This spiritual exercise has allowed us both to be accountable for our feelings and actions, and to develop a healthy and supportive friendship. I often also read my little journal entry to anyone else in the program I talk to that day.

Once a month, I reread what I have written in my journal since the last month. This allows me to see patterns developing that I may need to take action on. There have been times when, though I thought I was doing well in my recovery, my journal showed me that I was taking daily lust hits on the commuter train, shuttle bus, and cafeteria at work. I had thought I was only allowing an occasional glance or thought, but my journal showed me the much greater extent of my laxness.

These realizations scare me enough to work and pray to shore up the holes in my program. This is my way of daily admitting to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my gratitude, hopes, fears, and wrongs. It has been very good for me because it helps me to be honest with God, with other people, and with myself.