“Sobriety is God’s gift to me, and I have to do something with it.” I spoke those words in a dream. Upon waking, my entire mind was focused on that one statement. With that one thought, my entire view of recovery has changed. Now I see that each day God offers me a gift of sobriety. He wants me to be sober. All I have to do is choose to accept it.

This is an entirely new perspective on the Steps and on the prayer “Thy will, not mine, be done in my life today.” I used to think of this as somehow God forcing His will into my life—overriding my will. God would forcibly remove all my defects from me, like some cosmic tug of war that God would eventually win. Wrong! God does not force His will upon me. God offers His will—sobriety—as a gift; all I have to do is accept.

Sobriety used to be my accomplishment; something I achieved and in which I took pride (“my sobriety date”). Now I see my error. Sobriety is not something I have accomplished; it is something God has given me. Rather than being proud, I am humbled that God would love me so much to give me this gift.

God’s gift is different every day. When I wake and start a day, I have no way of knowing what the day holds for me. Sure, I can try and plan my day, make schedules and to-do lists, but the world is a very big and complex place, and even my little corner of it has millions of people, places and things awaiting me each day. While I cannot ever know what awaits me, God knows exactly what my day holds. God knows where, when and how I will be challenged. He also knows exactly what I will need to maintain sobriety and the gift He gives me each day is perfectly suited to those needs.

This gift does require work on my part. There is “God work” and there is “Bill work.” God’s love for me is manifest in His willingness to do the “God work” each and every day. Some days the gift is perfect and complete all by itself, pure and simple. Just as if I were given a beautiful sculpture or a flower in bloom. On those days my job is to leave perfection alone. Other days God’s gift comes with a label “some assembly required.” With those gifts, God also gives me the tools I need to do the work. If I am willing to do the “Bill work,” then nothing will happen that together we cannot handle.

When I try to control and maintain my sobriety myself, my hands are full, clutching tightly to my anxieties, my fears and my defects. With my hands full, I cannot reach out and accept God’s gift. I must first let go of all my “stuff.” Once holding God’s gift, I am unable to pick up my stuff again without letting go of God’s gift. Why would I ever do that?

When I am challenged in the day, I must trust that God knew of this challenge before I did and that His gift today is amply suited to the challenge. My role is simple—don’t try to out-think God! Just hold onto the gift. Ask God, how may I best use His gift today, right now? The answer will come. Often the answer is simply in the asking.