My neighbors have a large, angry dog which used to threaten my family as we walked by their house. I would raise my voice, stamp my feet and loudly command the dog, “No, go home!” The first couple of times it seemed to work, if only because the neighbor heard me, came to the door and called the dog home. The dog listened to her immediately. The third time the dog threatened, it looked like I was going to get bit, until at the last minute the owner called her dog away.

I went home afraid that my peaceful walks were over. The neighbors didn’t seem like they were going to tie or pen the dog and we live out in the country where there is no leash law. I thought about carrying a baseball bat or golf club, and thought I might get lucky and get in a good whack before one of us got bit.

Talking with my son, I wondered aloud what I could do. As soon as I asked, an answer came. “Humans are smarter than dogs,” the voice said. “Maybe I can befriend the dog.” I cooked some chicken, cut it up, put it in a bag, and went for a walk. The dog was my best friend within minutes.

I was quite pleased with myself and my solution and then the light went on in my head. “If I’m so smart,” the voice said, “why haven’t I been using this method on the important people in my life?”

With my wife and children I was more likely to use the “No, go home” method. Higher Power showed me that I needed to be kinder, gentler and more nurturing to the people in my life, including myself. Rather than reacting, judging and punishing, I need to model myself after my Higher Power: benevolent, patient, loving unconditionally.

I get it. Instead of trying to make my wife not cry, I need to try to make her smile. I need to practice preemptive kindness. I immediately called my wife, who was out of town and having a hard time, to offer her encouragement. I began taking loving action. Just like with the neighbor’s dog, I began to get immediate results.