We’re very grateful for Ruth P.’s work in translating the German newsletters into English. The following are excerpts from their sixth newsletter, dated February:

The next German SA Convention will be in Mainz, Friday, May 27 through Sunday, May 29, at Am Gonsenheimer Spiess 1, 6500 Mainz, in the Evangelical Community Center, starting at 6PM Friday and ending at 2PM Sunday.

On February 13 the clinics Ringgenhof and Hochsten (for all addictions) invited SA Germany to hold an SA Information Meeting. SA (and S-Anon) friends from Mainz, Karlsruhe, Wangen, Bonn, and Stuttgart held the meeting.

Excerpt from letters: “…At the beginning of my SA membership, when I was not yet able to stay sober continuously, I had great difficulty maintaining a clear standpoint regarding our definition of sobriety when talking to a newcomer, and first conversations with newcomers were very unpleasant for me. Today this doesn’t surprise me, I was miles away from sober thinking! Today I know what an inner liberation I got from complying with the sobriety definition. I have become clearer and have lost all fear toward newcomers, of telling them clearly what our aim is.

“Therefore I think it is time to give up the secrecy, that for me are parts of our common disease, because in most cases the acting out of our addiction took place in secrecy. We should become aware of the fact that the principle of anonymity is about the anonymity of the individual and does not mean the anonymity of the groups or SA as a whole.…”

Another letter begins as follows: “‘…and his own enlightened self-interest must tell him this.’ This sentence that stands at the end of the section ‘What Is a Sexaholic and What Is Sexual Sobriety?’ has become very important for me in my sobriety. Because I had already played around with the Program before I got to know about SA. I had not taken the first drink and was active in AA, but how could it be that after seven years I was nevertheless totally defeated?

“Because as a relationship addict I did everything for others. I bought clothes to impress women; I cleaned my shoes so that I could tell my sponsor about it. I was afraid of losing my image. All my plans were directed towards what I thought others expected of me. How terrible my resentment was when I realized that my people-pleasing didn’t work! I hoped for one reward for my conformity: the magical, ideal relationship within AA. To go on drinking and acting out lust without having to drink the first glass of alcohol, that was for me the essence of the Twelve Promises, and for that I did a lot. When I exercised, it was with the constant compulsive thinking that I needed to have the most handsome…body possible. When I brightened up my apartment then only to the extent that it served my self-advertisement.

“I was prepared to make a lot of sacrifices to this idol of self-obsession. And the more I bent myself, the more I craved for my pacifier and the more I lost my self.

“Until the game was over, the wine stale, and the attraction covered by sheer horror.

“Then I found SA.

“And now, everything was to start over—out of self-interest.

“My legs became as heavy as lead while jogging. And I’m only slowly getting used to the thought that I’m clearing up my life for me. Sometimes I’m startled how much the other has become second nature to me. How I like to put myself and my unfinished business to the side. But then again I ask myself, How was I able to live, driven by relationship mania, without this deep inner relationship to my Higher Power, which is so much more individual than I ever dreamt possible!

“God bless you all! It works!”

Another letter: “I am a grateful sexaholic, sober since November 1985, powerless over my lust, my resentment, my fear, and my devaluation. The SA program is the release for me. Here I have found my spiritual home.…

“I used to act out…with many different people, but I never succeeded in getting any peace or overcoming my isolation and the terrible feeling of loneliness. …it got worse, nearly fatally worse.… I used to have brief relationships, constantly yearning for a new conquest, for the exceptionally wonderful woman. Today I am married, have a child, and am very grateful for this delivering change in my life, a gift from the Higher Power.

“My old ego would rather create chaos. Today I’m getting to know the various aspects of a real relationship, for me a new, vast territory. Thanks to the Program, I cope well; after all, I can apply the Twelve Steps. I often have difficulty with Step Ten, but the relief is great afterward when I have been able to apologize for my mistake.… There are still lots of amends to make.…

“Since I’ve been turning over my lust, my resentment, my existential fear, and my devaluation to the Higher Power (every day anew), new horizons have opened up. New connections, friendships, that I used to long for, but was unable to live.

“As a sexaholic, I tend to live totally in the head, but in the meanwhile this has often moved down to by guts. Naturally, not only nice feelings surface; no, a very strong pain as well. But I don’t have to be afraid of it anymore because I have the Steps and thus the Higher Power (Step Three), to whose care I have turned over my will and my life—the best decision in my life—daily, hourly, and more often, if necessary.

“Completely new feelings for me are intensive sympathy and compassion, or emotion…often that tears come to my eyes.… Today I can feel joy, sometimes I feel a lot of strength; I look forward to the next day—all new experiences for me. Through that I am able to admit more about my dark side, can look at it more closely. Finally, I am beginning to recognize my character defects.

“I am very grateful for the SA way of life.”