The reason why lust and sexual acting out are so attractive to me is because they are so very powerful at what they do in me. Initially, they were my “solutions” to other problems. Eventually I became addicted to them, and they failed to be solutions and became their own problems. But I didn’t have an alternative “solution” that would not enslave me just as lust and sexual acting out had done.
The reason there is such a variety of 12 Step groups for a variety of addictions is because those “alternate solutions” are also addictive for me. I’m quite sure I would become enslaved very quickly by anything I used to “substitute” for lust and sexual acting out. That of course is my natural tendency, so I had to find a real solution instead of a substitute that would become my next problem.
That real solution is the “spiritual awakening” that Step 12 refers to. It is the right connection with God and others. It is a new way of life. It is living life on life’s terms. It is accepting reality that includes hardship and pain instead of always believing I should have a way of escape into a fantasy world of my own making. And the amazing thing about God is that he is a master that doesn’t enslave me. He only accepts what I willingly give to him. I am free to take back my will and life at any time that I might foolishly decide to make that insane decision.
That new life is the result of surrendering to God and working the Steps under the direction of a sponsor. The program works when I work it. And I believe it will work for others as well.
Anonymous, Taichung, Taiwan