Several  years ago I was going to an SA Convention. I got a window seat, because I don’t want anybody to ask me where I am going. I don’t want to lie, and I don’t want to tell the truth. I want to look out the window and be left alone.

The flight made three unsuccessful attempts to take off, twice for mechanical reasons and a third time because five passengers wanted to get off the plane. I said to myself, “Do they know something I don’t know?” I could just see the morning paper reporting the crash, and these people talking about how God told them to get off the plane. I think to myself, “Get Off This Plane Now!!!” I said the Serenity Prayer, which brought me to sanity. I settled down. We taxied for the fourth time. This time we were off!

I was talking, engaged with the people sitting near me. Sitting next to me was a woman named Carol. The thing that I had been dreading most happened! Carol asked, “So Glenn, where are you going?” I responded fearfully, “To a convention.” She said, “That sounds exciting. What type of convention?” Reluctantly, I answered “A Twelve-Step convention.” “Oh,” Carol responded, “I am familiar with the Twelve Steps.” She went on to recite Step Twelve. I was so taken aback that I joined her.

Then she said, “I am a Life-Coach in my spare time. My niece was addicted to meth, and in five years she was off meth, and married, and had her masters.” I said, “You know your stuff!” She went on. “A good friend of mine was going to be inducted into the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame. After the band retired, he started drinking heavily. He was the drummer and was supposed to play with the band at the awards. He couldn’t do it because of alcohol. I told him to carry a set of drumsticks in each hand everywhere he went. Those drumsticks were a symbol of his passion.” I realized if he had the drumsticks in each hand he couldn’t have a glass or a bottle in his hands.

She told me, “Wherever he went he had those drumsticks. To the supermarket, laundromat, getting a haircut, he had those drumsticks in his hands, and it worked! His passion to play the drums, perform, and get that award, along with those drumsticks constantly in his hands, conspired to get him that award!” Then she got in my face and said, “Glenn, I don’t think you know what your drumsticks are.” I had never been confronted like that before. I wanted to argue, but in truth I admitted, “You are right, I don’t know what my drumsticks are. Sober is not well.”

When I reached my destination I had to make a mad dash off the plane for my next flight. Since that time on that plane, I have searched my soul. I am still trying to understand what went on in that conversation. I have asked God as I understand Him for help. This is what I have come up with: Passion— Spirituality and Alcohol—Sexual Lust. Drumsticks—Rolling up pages of my spiritual literature, putting them in each hand. My Drumsticks connect me to my Passion, and they deter me from reaching for sexual lust.

I still don’t have it all together. I am teachable, open to feedback. It is very hard to understand this. I still may not have it. I do know that God will move heaven and earth to show me His will and give me the power and wisdom to carry it out.