Are We Losing Sight of Our Primary Purpose?
Dear Essay,
Over the last several years I have noticed that speakers at International, regional, and even local meetings are not really sharing the pain of what got them to SA. They skip over the past with vague generalizations, so as to get to the recovery part and “focus on the solution.” I think this is misguided. As a newcomer, I need to hear the problem, so I know you understand what I am going through. Only when I know you know my problem, will I be ready to listen to your solution. And as an old-timer, I need to hear the pain of the problem too, because I can’t remember it. I need to remember it, or I will go back out there. So sharing one’s past is important to both the newcomer and the old-timer. It is frequently our greatest asset. I have never heard an AA speaker quickly generalize the past and move on.
It also seems at joint SA and S-Anon events there is some pressure to “not say anything that will offend the S-Anons.” I think we have to instead remember “Our primary purpose is to help the sexaholic who still suffers,” and not try to keep from offending anybody. I think the SA speaker should speak as if he is at an open SA meeting, speaking to sexaholics. S-Anons are free to listen if they would like. By sanitizing our stories, we also deprive the S-Anons of hearing about what it is like to be a sexaholic, and learning about this disease. Isn’t that why they are there listening to an SA talk? If they don’t want to hear it, they are free to leave the room during the SA speaker.
Anonymous, USA
Growth and Madrid
Dear Essay,
It might be interesting and helpful to dedicate part of Essay to the Madrid convention and the influence of SA in Europe on the growth of SA worldwide. [You could detail] the establishment of EMER as the regional body of SA, and the challenges and lessons to get a multicultural and multilingual, not to mention multi-denominational, region off the ground. You might also do an article on Geek Camp, a 24-hour online event under EMER last year. This year it will be held on 29–30 November called the Sexaholics International Meeting SIM.
Building on an original fellowship based primarily in UK, Ireland, and Germany, there has over the past decade been an explosive growth of SA across Russia, Poland, Belgium, Spain, and the Netherlands. There are also budding sites of SA in Slovakia Croatia Lithuania France and Italy. There is now a growing presence of [Delegates] in the General Delegate Assembly, making for a more international outlook.
A related issue is the development of regions in Iran and Israel and the newly established Latin America Region created by Bolivia, Colombia, Mexico, and Peru Intergroups at the first Peruvian national convention held in Lima in August 2017. It will also be relevant for the work of the Australia and New Zealand regional body which for the past five or six years has been working towards the establishment of a Pan-Asia region.
Building awareness of SA in Europe and of planning for the Madrid convention would no doubt help to encourage people to make the trip for what we hope will be a great international convention.
Brendan, Ireland
Dear Essay,
I spent a long time stuck on my Second Step. I have a long-held tradition of over analyzing things and trying to figure out what someone really wants instead of just doing what is asked of me.
I talked to my sponsor about this and he told me “just write it like a job listing for God.” I may have taken it a bit literally, but that’s what I had to do to just follow simple direction. He thought others may find it useful and suggested that I send it to you.
Thanks,
Patrick J.
