Prejudiced By Other Fellowships

I attended my first SA meeting in 2015. Back then I was a member of another 12-Step fellowship in which I was dealing with my drug addiction. After a couple months of struggling with lust, while being clean in the other fellowship, I found SA. I continued going to SA meetings and was around 4 months sober when I left SA, convinced that I could now handle my lust problem without SA.

This was one of the first challenges that I faced in my SA sobriety. It was suggested to me by members in other fellowships that I don’t have to be “that strict” about my sexual conduct. They told me that after I worked my Steps in the other program I would be able to have “moderate” sexual activities. Well, I bought into that idea.

I started working a rigorous program in AA, hoping that by the time I passed Steps 6 and 7, I would be able to “lust like a gentleman.” Although, after I worked my 6th and 7th in AA, I found some relief from a few forms of my lust addiction (I stopped masturbating and watching porn), I was still acting out in other forms. And most importantly, I was not feeling joyous and free.

Thus, I came back to SA in June 2016 and I’ve stayed sober ever since. During this period, I have learned the hard way not to discuss my lust sobriety and the reasons behind it with people who are not in SA, unless someone is searching for a solution to their lust problem. Our literature nails it when it says “we can only speak for ourselves.” I simply let people know that I do not feel comfortable when they openly discuss lust-related topics in my presence, and they often respect that.

Another challenge has been my age. I sobered up when I was 26, and by the norms of society, which I do not approve of, I should be sexually active at this age. Being a single member in SA, and in my late twenties, it is sometimes difficult to convince myself that I do not have to do “what everyone else does.” After all, I came to SA because when I was sexually active I felt miserable.

Today, I enjoy my sobriety in SA and everything that comes with it. It has helped me beyond imagination. I am free from shame, guilt, and remorse. I have a conscious contact with the God of my understanding, and I am living a life which I could not even dream of.

Farzad, Greece

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