Being a religious Jew wearing a yarmulke (skull cap) I was taught to live with fear that there is prejudice towards me and “my kind.”

As a child I remember being told, “Behave yourself, Yaakov. You’re in public. We are Orthodox Jews and we have to make a ‘kiddush Hashem’ (bring honor to our God’s name).” However, being a sex addict in recovery, this proved to be a major challenge for me. I did not want to go to meetings at first for fear that someone of my stature, a role model for the community and attending rabbinical school, would be judged if I went to a meeting. What if someone saw me? What would they think?

I tried to push off my therapist telling me to try a meeting, letting him know that I was part of an online support group (which didn’t get me past 29 days, ever). Finally, after enough pushing, I gave it a try. I walked into my first meeting (it was an AA meeting as the SA fellowship in that area was small). Boom! There were two Orthodox Jews there, one even leading the meeting.

What a shock, I thought, these people were at the meeting!? Kinda strange … then over the next few meetings I met two other members I knew. What an embarrassment and a relief I felt all at the same time. I was supposed to be “better than these alcoholics” and yet I was there, one of them, talking and eating cookies with them.

I also came to realize that I was not the only one in my community who suffered from an incurable disease. Many of the “distinguished families” in my community had a son or daughter showing up at the same meeting. They were also powerless and had nowhere else to turn. People from all walks of life are accepted here as Bill W. and the others learnt early on. There is no one we will turn down. The line we say is “We will take you whether you’re from Yale or jail.” I have experienced this not only with my Jewish brothers and sisters, but with people of different skin colors, sexual orientations, and basically every other religion out there.

After coming into the 12-Step program I was exposed to a new culture, starting with signing for the meeting room key at the rectory office, which would have been unheard of just months prior. Walking down the steps into a local church a few times a week looked quite unnatural for a 22-year-old Jewish man. The feeling did not match the actions. I was able to come into a room with people who left their job, religion, and color outside. I can call a Christian, a Muslim, or a millionaire and still feel like we are brothers and sisters growing together with a common solution. I can report that I have not felt any prejudice at all. Thanks for making me feel at home, just as me.