I joined the program in December 2014 and found my first sponsor from Ireland/USA through SAICO. Back then, he was based in Jordan and sober for 22 years. During my first call with him, he introduced the program and asked me to read the whole AA Big Book before working the Steps. I agreed and we ended the call.

However, all kinds of fears overwhelmed me; the disease started fighting back hard. I sent him that same night an email and he replied to have a call the next day.

In that call he shared with me the Fear Inventory from Step Four (AA 68)—though we hadn’t even started the First Step! He showed me a simple way of doing it: listing the fears in short sentences; then asking myself: “Why do I have these fears?”; and continuing, “Because I am self-reliant and self-reliance has always failed me.” And finally, doing the Fear Prayer: “God, please remove these fears and direct my attention towards what would you have me be.”

To complete the action with the fears’ antidote, he instructed me to write a Gratitude List; the rationale being that if one keeps focusing on one’s fears, most of them will be fulfilled. However, in gratitude, I count my blessings and see how my Higher Power has done amazing things with little to no contribution from my side.

By following this recipe, I was able to outgrow my fears that night and I have kept outgrowing them every time I’ve followed these simple instructions. I have been sober since May 17, 2017 and I am really grateful for the Fear and Gratitude Lists tool that this kind man taught on my second day of actively working the program.