I Have a Notebook for Writing With God

I am a female member in Iran. When I came to SA in 2010, there were no other female members in my city, no meeting space, no Intergroup and no White Book or Step Into Action book. Apart from the AA Big Book and 12&12, we had only a few SA pamphlets translated into Persian.

I had to learn English to get a sponsor from America, and to share with her every day even though I couldn’t speak the language well.

I have been holding a meeting alone with God every week for up to eight years in the park, although my city is the hottest in our country. But I did everything I could to maintain my recovery and sobriety.

Of course, that was not my job as later, when I met the true and living God in SA, I realized that it was His job, not mine. Because it is God in this program who is able to show His strength in my weakness, and He uses a weak person like me to be His hand on the ground to help another sexaholic. He showed me that, despite a lack of facilities, I can be sober, if I want!

A tool I want to share with you is that I have a notebook for writing to God. I take every day time to write to God all my feelings, thoughts, intense worries, fears, resentments and temptations—every lustful thought and fantasy that goes through my mind. I do so really clearly and without any hidden thoughts, and I don’t stop writing until God calms me and removes my temptations.

By doing this writing, I am actually using the program tools of prayer and journaling. God talks to my heart and calms me down and informs me what is going on inside. And, according to these feelings, I can decide what inventory needs to be written and what to bring into the light to my sponsor or other sober SA friends.

This has been my daily experience which has helped me to stay sober for eleven years and four months and taught me a lot every day! If you use this, I believe you too will experience a deeply spiritual conscious contact with a merciful, kind, and loving God of your own understanding.

Atefeh, Ahwaz, Iran

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