When I was sixteen years old I was caught having sex with my girlfriend. We had skipped school and headed to my house. A few hours later my parents came through the door. I was busted. I remember the embarrassment, anger, and disappointment I saw on my parents’ faces. At sixteen I was a full blown sexaholic, I just didn’t know it yet.
Two weeks ago I had cataract surgery in my right eye. It was easy and painless, and I recommend it. The additional benefit was that it changed my way of looking at things. All I have to do right now to see the change is to close my right eye and look at the world…dark, blurry and yellow-tinged. This is my old way of seeing things. Then I close my old eye and look at the world through my corrected lens…light, clear and sharp.
I am a sexaholic, sober since August 2014 thanks to my Higher Power and the Fellowship. I want to share about my first year in sobriety.
Deep down I knew what was happening inside, but now it is time to swallow my pride.
WOMEN SA MEMBERS!! There’s a great new service project being worked on, and we need YOUR help!
From where does your group get SA literature? Who provides informational packets to individuals trying to start a new group? Who helps the desperate sexaholic connect with a group, or another member? From whom can you obtain information about meetings and contacts when traveling? Who provides online registration for our International Conventions?
I fell hard into the Internet. There I found a world where forbidden things were freely available. At first, I enjoyed this secret place where there was no right or wrong. So I stayed there longer and longer each day. Before long, my seemingly harmless online meetings turned into infidelities. I cheated frequently, after more than fifteen years of faithful marriage.
From the time I was a kid I never liked teams. I didn’t want to lose because some teammate screwed up. If I messed up a bunch of people would hate me for making them lose. And if I’m the prime factor in helping a team win, the credit will be spread out among a bunch of others. By my logic it was better to solo have the credit and control of winning or losing.
In 1993, my wife and I led a church singles ministry. During a pool party at a single’s house while playing catch, my six-year-old son looked at me and said, “Daddy, why do you keep looking around? Why don’t you just play catch with me?” I believe that was the first time anyone spoke to me about my looking at the women around me.
My wife and I were babysitting two of our grandchildren for the weekend. On Saturday afternoon I was keeping my grandson company, lounging next to him on the couch with my legs up on a hassock as he watched his favorite television program.
